"If You Don't Like What You See Here"
Extreme, Get the Funk Out

The phone rang at 9:30, and Marissa groaned as she reached for it. "Who's risking life to call me?" she mumbled into the phone.

"Oh, sorry," Joey said. "Did I wake you?"

"Yes, Joe. You woke me up. You went to bed later than I did, and got hit. How are you feeling?" She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"My head's fine. When are you going to get up?"

"I'm up now, dork." She yawned. "Why?"

"Cause we're coming shopping with you. I just wanted to know when to meet you."

"Hang on." She set the phone down and crawled across her bed to Anika's. "Wake up," she muttered, shaking her friend's shoulder. "The idiot woke me up, you have to get up, too."

"No...." Anika buried her head under her pillow.

"Yes. For some insane reason, they want to go shopping with us."

Anika's head popped up. "All of them?"

"Only Joe - no, he said ‘we're coming shopping', so it's Joey and one other person at least."

Anika dropped her head back down. "Find out if JC's coming."

Marissa crawled back across her bed. "Who's we?" she asked into the phone.

"We?"

"Lance?"

He chuckled. "Yeah."

"Oh. Yeah, Joey said ‘we're going with you.' Our plan for today is shopping."

"I guess Joey, me and JC; Justin might join us after he gets up. No comment from Chris."

Which was just as well, Marissa thought. "Dork," she muttered. "All right. Well, Joey just woke us up. Hang on." She covered the mouthpiece. "Anika, up! The answer's yes, and they're gonna be here in half an hour!" She went back to the phone. "Sorry."

"We won't make it by then."

"That's okay, neither will we. Where'd Joey go?"

"Shower."

"Dork," she muttered again, then sighed. "All right, we'll see you when you get here."

"Bye." He hung up and swatted JC's hand away. "Get off! Joey said not to tell them yet!" His eyes narrowed thoughtfully, but he didn't say anything, moving past his band mate.

"What?" JC demanded.

Lance shook his head, trying not to grin. "Nothing, absolutely nothing."

"PooFoo...."

"Oh, good grief!" he protested with a laugh. "Give it a rest, JC!"

"You're smirking!" JC accused him, a smile twitching the corners of his mouth.

"Yes, with absolutely no reason whatsoever because I know it drives you nuts!" Lance folded his arms and mock-glared defiantly at his friend. He was in an incredibly good mood, for the little sleep he'd gotten last night, and JC seemed to be in the same state of mind.

JC glared back. "Because you know it drives me nuts?" he asked in a low voice, barely concealing his smile. Lance nodded with a smirk.

"Well, and because I know why you fought me for the phone."

"Fought you for the phone?" JC demanded. "If I'd been fighting you for the phone, I would have gotten it!"

"Not a chance," Lance denied.

"Yeesh, I'm out of it for second, and you two are ready to tear each other apart! What's up with that?" Joey asked, pulling his shirt on. He glanced at both of them, smiling.

"He's smirking at me!" JC accused, pointing at Lance.

Joey laughed. "You probably deserve it, JC. You guys ready?"

"I told Marissa half an hour," Lance said. "You didn't tell me you woke her up."

"Oh, I left that out? My bad."

"You didn't just say that," JC groaned. "Don't go hangin' around Justin so much!"

Joey grinned and JC rolled his eyes. "You know we do it because it bugs you," Joey told him.

"Hey, we decided to keep that a secret!" Lance pouted. "You went and told him."

JC's eyes glinted, but he was having a hard time keeping a straight face. "Just to get at me?" he asked in a low, deadly voice. "That's the only reason?"

Both Joey and Lance backed away from him, glancing at each other. "You got the keys?" Lance whispered. Joey nodded.

JC suddenly relaxed and shrugged. "Okay. Let's go."

Lance looked at him warily. "‘Okay, let's go'?" he repeated, incredulous.

"Hey, don't ask," Joey said in some relief. "Let's do what the man said!"

"This doesn't bother you?" Lance asked, then his eyes widened as he realized why JC had decided not to pursue his murderous thoughts. Anika, of course.

"No," Joey shrugged, and started out to the car.

Lance started after him, only to slow down as JC draped an arm across his shoulders. "So, Lance, what were you thinking?"

"When?" Lance asked warily.

"When you hung the phone up. And just now."

"Oh..." Lance shrugged, trying to dislodge JC's arm. It didn't work. "Just that you're pretty attached to someone you've barely met."

"Oh, and you're not?" JC demanded.

Lance laughed. "Marissa is nice, but if Joey's too young, I don't have a chance. Anika is nice, too, but if I even look at her wrong, you'll poke my eyes out."

JC let him go, drawing back to stare at him. "Poke your eyes out?"

"You deny it?" Lance asked, getting into the suburban.

"I wouldn't do any lasting damage," JC told him, crawling after him. "That would be stupid."

"What are you guys talking about?" Joey asked as he started the car.

"How JC would..."

"...definitely hurt him but do no lasting damage if he looks at Anika wrong."

Joey laughed. "Congratulations, Lance. You got him to admit to it. Now all we have to do is work on Chris."

"What do you mean, got me to admit to it?" JC demanded.

"You've been obvious, JC," Lance said. "Even Justin's noticed it."

"As if Justin were the most oblivious of us," Joey said. "I think he's hypersensitive."

"Who was the girl he went off with last night?" JC asked.

"Girl?" Joey asked.

"Trish? The reason we're in this fix?" Lance asked with a bit of a scowl.

"Oh, right." Joey nodded. "He went out with her once, right?"

JC nodded. "She scared him."

"She scared me," Lance said with a shudder. "I was glad he had enough sense to let her alone after that. I hope she's changed."

"We'll find out," Joey said, and pulled to a stop at the hotel.

"How are you going to invite Anika?" Lance asked.

"Dunno," JC said.

"How are you going to invite Marissa?" he asked Joey, who paused half out of the car.

"I'll think of something." He grinned. "Being too young and all, I'll have to make it not sound like a date."

Lance shook his head. "I'm glad you're doing it and not me," he muttered, and climbed out.


The knock interrupted Marissa's frantic searching, and she paused to stare at the door. "Who is it?" she called.

"Me, Joe."

"You're early!" she protested, grabbed her lilac t-shirt, and pulled it over her head. Then she opened the door. "I thought you said you wouldn't make it in half an hour," she accused Lance as he walked in.

"He takes forever on tour! How was I supposed to know he didn't when we were home?" he asked in some defense, trying to suppress a smile.

She smiled, and he let his free. "Lucky for you, we're both dressed and almost ready."

Joey opened his mouth, then shut it again and smiled innocently. "Great," he said after a minute. "We've got places to take you."

"Like where?" Anika asked, emerging from the bathroom.

JC grinned. "Get what you need, and we'll show you. Let's go, time's waistin'!"

Marissa looked at him in some surprise, then turned to Joey. "Is he always like this?" she asked in a stage whisper. Lance chuckled.

"Usually," Joey responded in the same tone. "This is nicer than we get, though."

Marissa grinned and patted his cheek. "Armes Kindchen," she said. "On the other hand, I happen to agree with him. Let's go!"

Lance stared at her. "Armes Kindchen?" he repeated. "Kindchen? Isn't that redundant?"

She smiled. "Therein lies the beauty of it all. Kannst Deutsch?"

He shook his head. "I only remember a very little," he told her. "Certainly not enough to speak it."

"He got lazy," JC confided to her, and Lance gaped indignantly.

"Oh, give it a rest," he muttered. "I've forgotten more German than he ever knew."

"In other words, I could say almost anything, and he'd have no clue?"

Lance grinned and nodded. "I'm the only one who might understand," he said. Marissa smiled evilly.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Now that you two have bonded, can we go?" Joey asked with a grin.

"Anika?" Marissa asked.

"Ready," she reported. "Got the key?"

Marissa held up the credit card-like key. "Armed and dangerous," she said with a grin. "We're gone."

They hadn't even reached their destination when a phone rang, playing Beethoven's Fifth. Joey snatched it up from the dashboard. "Hello."

"‘lo," came a soft, sleepy voice.

"Morning, Justin."

He yawned in response. "Sorry. Where are you?"

"We haven't gotten there yet. You coming?"

"Yeah. On my way out."

"Chris?" Joey asked, glancing at JC. JC shrugged.

"Gone before I got up. Told ‘em yet?"

"Nope. See you there." He hung up. "He's up early."

"Justin's up?" JC chuckled. "That's a first."

"Early?" Anika protested. "It's after ten!"

"Off tour, that's early," Lance said. "He was talking, too, so he's had breakfast."

Marissa laughed. "Let me guess. He talks in grunts before food."

"Yep," Joey said.

"Sounds like Chuck," Marissa said, and Anika laughed.

"It does," she agreed.

"Who's Chuck?" JC asked.

"Anika's little brother."

"Younger brother," Anika corrected her. "I think he's taller than everyone here."

"And here we are," Joey announced, and turned the car off. The two women got out and found themselves surrounded by three guys in sunglasses and baseball caps.

"If they were a bit larger, they'd be body guards," Marissa said with a grin. They stepped into the mall. Marissa looked around, then slowed and grabbed Anika's arm. "This place is for window shopping," she whispered.

"No kidding," Anika agreed, just as softly, glancing around as well. Then she blinked and stared. "Hey." She nudged JC. "Is that Justin?"

He turned, then nodded. "Good eye." They waited until Justin caught up with them. "All right," JC said. "We're splitting up. Joey, you take Marissa, I'll take Anika."

"I'll go with you," Lance said with a smirk. JC rolled his eyes.

"Means I go wit' you," Justin said, grinning down at Marissa.

"Okay..." she said, and waved good-bye to Anika as Joey and Justin dragged her off.

"So, next Friday night," Joey said casually as they walked a little more sanely.

Marissa glanced at him warily. "Yeah?"

"Your schedule says dancing."

"Right." Her glance flickered to Justin, but he just grinned knowingly.

"Do you know where you'll go?"

"I was going to open the phone book at clubs, close my eyes, and point," she said.

"Oh, bad idea," Justin said, and she could swear he was laughing at her.

"So, you're going to tell me a better one?" she asked warily.

"Well, we're hoping you'll help us out of a fix that Curly here got us in." Justin scowled.

"What kind of fix?" Marissa asked.

"We are part of a benefit on Friday night. Getting you in won't be a problem."

"But...."

"We decided," Joey continued, "not to invite dates. Only Curly got creative."

Marissa glanced at Justin; he shrugged. "I invited the girl from the club last night."

"We can't have just one girl there. Management won't allow it. So we thought - Justin thought - of you ladies. Do you mind?" Joey lowered his glasses long enough to give her the sappiest puppy-dog eyes she'd ever seen. "I know we're too young," his mouth quirked, "but do you mind being a group date sort of thing?"

Marissa burst into laughter. "In other words, you'll never get Anika away from JC, right?"

Justin chuckled. "Or the other way around," he said. "So, will you come?"

She sighed and grinned. "Who am I to turn down you charming young men? I'll come." Then the light clicked on. "That's why we're here. Um. Guys, it costs more than I make just to step in some of these places! Find me a K-Mart or a Wal-Mart!"

"Don't worry," Joey said easily, laying his hand on her shoulder. "It's on us."

Her eyes widened. "No, Joey, I can't let you do that." She drew away, casting a glance at Justin. He was scowling.

"Why not?" Joey asked, looking confused.

She shook her head, not really willing to go into it with him, since it had been his bad luck that had kicked the whole thing off. "Justin, I can't. You know that, right?"

Justin sighed. "He knows, Marissa." She paled. "He guessed something had happened."

"Chris apologized last night. I can't just toss that off." Her eyes flickered between them.

Justin leaned over her, gripping her arms where Chris had yesterday morning. She winced and put her hands up to his chest in defense, almost afraid of getting kissed again, and tried to pull away. His hands tightened. "Why do you care?"

She quit resisting, and his grip loosened again. "What?" she asked.

"Why do you care so much about what he thinks?"

She panicked internally, and knew he could see it; it reflected nicely in his sunglasses. "Do you know now weird it is to be staring you in the sunglasses?"

He gave her a shake, and she winced again. "Why?" he demanded.

"It's not just Chris," she said, the first thing that came to her mind, anything to get him to let go. Three sets of bruises in the same place. What were the odds? "It's anyone thinking bad of me for something I didn't do."

He let her go, and she rubbed at her arms. "You react like that all the time?" he asked. She shrugged.

Beethoven's Fifth interrupted him, and Joey snatched his phone. "Hello?" After a minute, he handed the phone to Marissa. "It's for you."

She gave him a curious look, and took it. "Hello?"

"They told you yet?" Anika asked.

"Yeah," Marissa said warily.

"Pay for half of it."

"What?" she demanded.

"I'm making JC let me pay for half of it. You should have seen his face." There was amusement in her voice. "Lance is still trying to recover."

"But how does that...."

"Just do it, okay? Or I'll go without you."

Marissa sighed. "You would, too. All right."

"Good. See you soon." She hung up. Marissa closed the phone and turned to see both guys watching her, curiosity clear in spite of the sunglasses.

"Okay, here's the deal," Marissa said, holding out the phone. "I pay for half or I don't go."

Joey paused half a second, the shock registering only as he took his phone back. "Done," he said. "Where do we start?"

She shrugged, feeling like she'd been struck in the stomach. "How formal is it?" she asked.

"We get tuxes," Joey told her. Marissa gulped.

"White tie or black?"

"Black," Justin said quickly, grinning.

"That's a relief."

"Here," Joey said, and pulled her into a store.

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