Dinner their last night was peaceful, somehow. They were in a dining room in the hotel, the smallest available, at five large round tables that allowed them all to actually sit, talk, and see each other. In spite of the waiters moving around them, it had the comforting feel of a family dinner. The group and their visitors had taken over one table, with the rest of the crew and the body guards were spread out over the rest of the tables. Clara wasn't really paying attention to anyone else, talking softly with Joey, trying to keep him in so they could spend a little more time together. "Hey, Joey, what are you guys doing tonight?" Justin interrupted, his blue eyes fixed on his friend.
"I think we're gonna stay in, Justin. Just talk, watch tv," Clara said before Joey could even open his mouth.
Joey glanced at her, surprised, then looked almost relieved and nodded. "And no, Justin, you can't join us tonight. Sorry."
Justin rolled his eyes. "As if I wanted to," he muttered, and turned to JC. "What are you guys doing?"
JC chuckled. "We're going out, dancing," he said, and glanced at Anika, who was bouncing excitedly in her seat.
"You know you did," Clara said, referring to Justin's earlier remark, then turned to Joey when the blonde didn't answer her. "Do you mind staying in?" she asked softly.
"No. Not at all. Besides, don't you owe me a back rub?" He smirked a little.
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Joey," she demanded softly. "I said we were gonna talk... but after that, I suppose you could get a back rub." She paused, then added "I'm sure Justin wouldn't mind at all."
Joey looked confused. "I'm not sure why Justin should mind, but I don't think he will."
"Okay, then," Clara smirked. "Hey, Justin," she said, and he looked at her.
"What?" he asked warily.
"Forget what Joey said about not being invited. Come to the room later, okay?"
"Right," he scoffed, rolling his eyes again. "I'm going out with the others."
"But Joey wanted a back massage," Clara whined. "And we all know how you like to get down and dirty...."
Justin stared at her, anger chasing the shock across his face, then he glanced at Joey. Without a word he stalked out of the dining room, leaving silence in his wake. Everyone stared at the door that drifted closed in spite of his obvious attempt to slam it.
Clara glanced at Joey, startled, then stood. "I'll be back, okay?" she said, just as Chris gave Marissa a gentle kiss on the cheek and went out the same door. With a faintly disappointed look, Clara followed him, ducking the other direction.
Her first thought was the roof. That was where she'd go, and since she really didn't know Justin that well, it was a good enough place to start. But the roof was empty. Her next option was the large ballroom they'd seen when they'd checked in; in fact, they'd caught JC and Anika dancing slowly to no music at all. Although Joey had said he though he'd heard JC singing something. But in the ballroom was what looked like a wedding, and a man in a tux demanded an invitation from her before he'd let her in. No way Justin had ducked in there.
She'd run out of places to look and had started back to the dining room, disappointed, when a sound caught her ear. Around a corner and down a short hallway she found exactly what she didn't expect, an arcade. It was quiet as she stepped in, but she did see a familiar figure hunched over a pinball machine, curls covered with a hat she knew he hadn't had at dinner. She made her way over and touched his shoulder. "Sorry," she murmured.
He barely glanced at her, intent on his game. "Not you."
"What do you mean?" she asked, confused.
"It's not anything you did. Don't worry about it. It's my ‘own insecurities catching up with' me." He did a fair imitation of Chris. Another time it might have been funny.
Clara sighed. "Look, Justin, I know I'm not exactly Ms. Wanna Talk About It, but I'd like to try."
He chuckled dryly. "Nothing to talk about, really, Clara. I'm just being stupid. I know I'm just being stupid. Besides, this is your last night with Joey for who knows how long. Don't waste it on me." He flashed her his brightest smile, and went back to the game.
Clara's eyes narrowed. "Hey. I decide who I waste my time on, and right now, mister, you're stuck."
Justin shrugged. "Okay, but I'll send you the mortician's fee - or the hospital bill - when Joey gets done with me."
"I'll deal with him, okay? Now, spill."
Justin shrugged again. "Really. I'm just being stupid. No reason whatsoever. I don't get to do this very often... and happened to take it out on you this time. Sorry about that." He pressed frantically on the buttons controlling the flippers, and muttered a curse as the ball escaped.
"Now, why do I not believe that?" Clara leaned against the pinball machine next to the one he was playing. "Come on, Justin. Beneath all the raunchy sex jokes aimed at you, I do have a heart. Ask Joey... he knows that enough people have broken it."
"Does he?" At least there was curiosity in his voice.
"Yeah, he knows about some of them."
Justin snorted. "Oh, and you want to add me to that list? Thanks... no." He turned and smirked at her, then went back to the game.
Clara gave him a confused look. "No, Justin, I don't want you added to that list. I just want to be a friend."
He glanced at her, then straightened, ignoring the game. "I.... Oh."
"Do you want to talk or not?" she asked.
"What's there to say?" He shrugged. "It's a temporary mood swing. Joey.... is one of my best friends. I have a hard time being ignored. Like I said. Being stupid."
Clara rolled her eyes at him. "Justin, come on. Seriously, I do know how to listen. and I have a feeling it's a lot more then you being annoyed."
Justin sighed. "There isn't, really. It's petty, I know, and I guess I'm starting to believe my own press, if that isn't pathetic." He rolled his eyes with the words.
"Justin... as awful as this is going to sound... are you jealous of Joey?"
He looked startled, almost afraid, as if she had hit on it exactly. "Huh? Oh, no, not really." He went back to the game, reaching to start the next ball.
Clara looked dubious. "If you say so, Justin. But seriously, if you ever need to talk, let me know. And I'll try to stop picking on you, if you want."
Justin shrugged. "Not to be rude, but hopefully the next time you get the chance, I'll be over this. I don't know that I'll be up in the morning when you go."
"Typical," she muttered. "And I'll find ways to bug you when I'm not here. Like tonight... are you sure you don't want to come down and give Joey a little personal massage? He'd really enjoy it..."
Justin snorted. "Hardly. I've tried. He yells at me."
Clara gave him an incredulous look. "I so don't want to hear about that."
"Neither do I," Justin mumbled, and snapped his last ball into play. "Oh, crud...." Moving quickly, he gave her a quick hug, then rescued his game. "Travel safe," he said.
"Gee, I feel loved," Clara mumbled.
"For that, you have Joey." She could hear the smirk she couldn't see.
"Yeah, I have Joey, you're right. But you know...."
"It doesn't happen often, so enjoy it," he interrupted her.
"I plan to. Justin, I will miss you. Call me, you hear?"
He chuckled. "If I can convince the Phat One to part with your number, I might do that."
"You can, I'm sure of it." She grinned and poked him gently in the ribs. He grunted softly but didn't squirm like she'd hoped, so she tried to tickle him again.
"I'm not ticklish," he told her quietly.
"Yes, you are, I just have to find out where. I've seen Chris get you."
He chuckled. "Chris has been my friend for a long time. You don't have the time to spend on this."
She touched his ribs again, and he growled. "I'm sure Joey wants to know where you are."
"He'll wait." She tried again, and he growled wordlessly.
"Go find your man and leave this one alone."
"Fine, fine, I'll leave you alone. Besides, the two girls in the corner playing Skee Ball seem to have been eyeing me in a less than flattering way. If I didn't know better, I'd say they were rabid fans, jealous of little ol' me."
"If they recognize me because of you, Joey's gonna be looking for a new girlfriend." He wasn't looking at her when she turned her gaze to him, and his shoulders were hunched again, but she knew she'd heard the amusement in his voice.
"Oh, well, I'm sure Howie would love to fill the spot."
"Joey would not like that," he said, trying not to laugh. "I'll tell him you think Howie would replace you..."
"Oh, he knows. As do Marissa, Anika, and JC."
Justin shot her a disbelieving look, and turned back to his game. "I'm not gonna ask," he said, suppressed laughter in his voice. "I'm not. Go find Joey, woman."
"But I'm having fun talking to you," she whined.
Justin muttered a curse as his last ball vanished and the 'Game Over' lights flashed at him. "Fine," he said. "Come talk to me elsewhere." He started out of the arcade.
"Gee," Clara muttered, following him a little slower. "You'd think I was the reason he lost his game."
"You are the reason I lost my game," Justin mumbled, just loud enough for her to hear. She sped up to walk next to him.
"Oh, you so did not say that, Curly," she growled. "You just need to accept that you aren't Michael Jordan, in any way, shape or form, and move on with your life. You don't even have the skin color down."
He gave her a disbelieving look. "Since when do pinball and Michael Jordan have anything to do with each other?" he asked.
"Since I said so," Clara retorted.
"And since you're an expert on both...." He rolled his eyes and opened the dining room door for her.
"Hey, I never said I was an expert. It's just that I'm always right. There's a difference, you know."
"Always right." He nodded. "Mm hmm. Sure." He pulled her chair out, sat her down, and walked around the table to his own place. On the way by, he hit Chris hard in the shoulder, giving him a glare when Chris gave him a confused look.
"We're leaving in an hour, Justin, if you still want to go," JC said.
"Oh, believe me, I do," Justin said, bounced out of his seat, and was out the door before anyone could say anything else.
"What was that all about?" Joey asked Clara before the door had closed behind his younger friend.
"Oh, nothing," she said with contrived innocense.
"You know we don't believe that," JC said with a smirk. "You are never as innocent as you make out to be. We are on to you." He smiled at Anika. "Ready?"
"Definitely," she said with a smile, and he stood up and held his hand out to her.
"Let's go, then."
Chris stood as she did, his hand on Marissa's shoulder. "You?"
Marissa stood up as well. "You'd better believe it," she grinned, and they followed Anika and JC out of the room.
"What?" Clara muttered, then turned to Joey and smiled. "What did they mean, Teddy?"
"You're asking me?" He gave her an innocent look that actually looked innocent. "I have no idea.
"You'll have to ask them," Lance said as he got up, moving stiffly. "I have a date with the hot tub, then my bed."
"Hm... hot tub..." A sly smile crossed her face as she grinned at Joey.
A very uncomfortable look crossed Lance's face. "Please don't be there when I am," he said softly. "I'd rather be alone this evening."
Clara looked vaguely disappointed, but when she opened her mouth, she noticed that he was a little droopy and even a little pale and closed her mouth. "Only this once," she said pertly, and he smiled slightly.
"Thanks." He moved slowly from the room.
Joey grinned at her. "And then there were two. Still hungry?"
"No. Remind me to get you that book, Joey. And then there were none."
"But there aren't none," he protested. "We're still here. I've read the book. Agatha Christy writes a mean murder mystery."
Clara grinned. "That she does. That she does."
He looked like he was going to say something, then changed his mind and started again. "Well, then, if you're finished, let's go." He stood and took her hand to help her out of her chair. Then he offered her his elbow. "May I escort you to your room?" he asked.
"I suppose," she said, teasing, and took his arm.
They walked elegantly to her room, and he paused at her door. "Or, if you like, we can retire to mine. All mine, no interruptions from roommates...." He winked at her.
"I so don't like what you're hinting," Clara said in a dead pan voice.
Joey looked affronted. "And why is that? So I get to talk to my girl without having to tell Chris, Justin, Lance or JC to go away? Never mind the women." He rolled his eyes exaggeratedly.
Clara chuckled. "I just have a dirty mind, Joe. Let's go talk."
Joey grinned. "Yes, I know." He kissed her gently, then took her hand and they strolled down the hall.
"You like it, though," Clara said softly.
Joey just grinned at her, pausing long enough to open the door. "Do you want something to drink?" he asked as the door closed behind them.
"Sure. How about a Sprite?"
He thought a minute, then checked the fridge. "You're in luck. Glass or no?"
"No, thanks."
He handed her a sprite, then sat down on the bed and took his shoes off.
Clara wrinkled her nose. "Ewwwwwww. Your feet stink, Fatone," she said in a nasal voice.
Joey just grinned. "Nothing like JC's, believe me. Are you gonna take yours off and join me on the bed?"
"Maybe," Clara said, in her best 'if your lucky' voice.
He grinned at her, then scooted back until his back was against the wall, setting a pillow behind him. "Come join me. There's room for one more." He set up the second pillow next to him for her to sit against.
"But what about Justin? I promise him the chance to give you a massage! If there isn't room for him..."
"He'll just have to lump it," Joey said with a shrug. "If he even cared."
"He'll care all right..." she said, a mild threat in her voice.
"He'd probably like it better if he were giving you a back rub. I wouldn't, though... I rather don't like the idea of Justin being here at all." He mock scowled at her.
"Fine. Fine. I see where Justin's not wanted. He'll have to get himself his own red-haired Italian stud. You're mine." Clara said possessively.
"I'm pretty sure Justin doesn't want a red-haired Italian stud," he laughed. "And if I'm yours, why aren't you over here?" He mock pouted at her.
"Because I want you over here with me," she said irrationally.
"You're standing in the middle of the floor. Where, exactly, is the comfort in that?"
"If you'd get over here, it would be in your arms."
"And if you were over here, you could relax, sit on a nice soft bed, and be indulged a little..." He gave her his best 'come hither' look.
Clara struggled not to show how weak in the knees that look made her. "Maybe.... Come and get me!"
He sighed, then grinned. "Oh, sure. With your soda and everything, right? I don't want to get sticky, Clara."
Clara sighed with mock frustration and rolled her eyes. "Fine. Fine. I'm coming."
Joey smiled softly. "I'm glad," he says. "I was getting lonely without you."
Clara rolled her eyes again. "Gee, give me the cheesy lines," she protested.
"I haven't gotten to cheese, yet," Joey told her. "Get over here." He patted the bed next to him.
"Give me a sec," Clara whined and quickly drank the rest of her soda.
When she looked up, Joey was grinning appreciatively. Then he patted the bed next to him again. "You'd think I was trying to seduce you or something," he teased.
"You aren't?" Clara muttered, and tossed the can in the garbage. Turning back to Joey, she modeled her sweatshirt and baggy jeans. "I dressed up so nicely for you!"
"And you're a vision," he told her, looking surprised at the amount of New York accent actually came out with his words.
Clara crossed the room and settled in quickly next to Joey, before he had a chance to comment again. "Here I am, teddy."
He wrapped his arms around her and took a deep breath. "I'm not so sure you're not my teddy," he whispered. "As long as you're mine."
"Sounds good to me."
There was a silence, then he started hesitantly. "You said something when you were stuck on the wrong bus that bugged me."
"What?" Clara asked, dreading the answer.
"What did you mean, that I actually care?" He said it softly, gently, cradling her in his arms. "It sounded like no one else had."
Clara's eyes surveyed the room for a moment, finally stopping as they spotted the worry and concern on Joey's face. She took a deep breath, and slowly let it out. "Maybe because you're the second person to actually ever care. Ben does too."
Joey smiled. "I would hope so. There's a lot in your voice when you talk about him, and your face lights up... It's really cute." He paused. "I guess that means there were others that didn't care? or no others at all?"
"The first." Clara sighed, not in the mood to talk about her past, but at the same time knowing she had to. Otherwise, it would bother Joey, and she wasn't willing to give up this wonderful man because of a few insecurities on her part.
He drew away slightly to catch her eyes better. "I realize curiosity killed the cat," he said with a slow smile of understanding, "and if you don't want to talk about it, that's cool, too. We can order your second favorite movie. But I'd like to know more... I'd like to know you."
"I want to know you too. And part of knowing you is telling you about me. so... I guess I can answer a few questions."
"Tell you what. Pick one of the questions and answer me, and then you get to ask questions. Deal?"
Clara nodded. "Deal."
He nodded slowly, and settled back next to her. "So... Is there one specific... incident, idiot, whatever, that made you so hesitant to get really close to people?"
Clara closed her eyes, thinking back to her parents, her friends, her family. "I guess... it was a combination of things. I never was close with my parents, they were too busy with work, with their lives. We had nothing to talk about... and so we just stopped talking. Stopped being a family." She sighed a little. "Add that to the fact that I moved continually during my childhood, I went to 8 different elementary schools."
"When?" Joey asked gently, trying not distract her. "I mean, when did you stop being a family?"
She paused to think. "Probably around... 6th grade."
He was silent for a moment. "So... no long time friends, no family. That had to be hard."
"It was. And then... I met Jessica."
"Was this in sixth grade?"
"No. 7th."
"Had you stopped moving by now? or... was this just another stop in the long list of new addresses to memorize?" He didn't mean to sound so... whatever, indignant was the word Lance had used. He figured that was as good as any to describe how he felt.
"We had finally stopped moving."
"That's something, I guess."
"Yeah. I suppose," Clara muttered. She sounded as sure of that as he felt - not at all. "One day during English, I sat down next to this girl. And we became semi-friends. She introduced me to her best friend, Jessica... and that... just threw us off."
"What do you mean?" he asked, confused.
"Me and Elizabeth, the girl from English. We were becoming friends. I guess Jessica got jealous."
"Oh." He nodded. "Okay."
"So she tried to make it so Elizabeth and me weren't friends... by spreading rumors. I must have kissed 20 guys that year, if I kissed one, and each was a major event. You know how things are in junior high."
He chuckled. "Right," he said, then sobered. "Can I guess? Every one of them was someone Elizabeth had a crush on or something."
She shrugged. "Probably. And then... she changed. Or I thought she had. We became friends... rather reluctantly on my part. So for nearly three years, Elizabeth, Jessica and I were close. Then one day, out of the blue, she called me, said that she didn't like me, didn't trust me, and that she never had. That hurt... ya know?"
"Elizabeth or Jessica?" Joey asked, almost hesitantly.
"Jessica," Clara said softly. "Liz and I are still great friends. We don't talk to Jessica anymore."
"Ah." He nodded. "That makes sense. And I'm glad you're still friends with her."
"So am I. But... ever since then. Since before then... I don't trust people easily. Until Ben... and now you."
"Maybe it's just girls you don't trust," he offered, shifting a little.
"Joey... I don't trust people. I try to act like I don't care... that I'm independent. I guess I act so well, I convinced myself. Do you have any idea how long it took me to argue myself into going out with you? That I could trust you?"
He looked surprised. "Well... no. And to be honest, I had to do some self convincing, too..." His voice trailed off.
"Why?"
"Remember the girl on the beach? It all comes back to her." He shrugged uncomfortably. "It always seems to come back to her," he muttered in some frustration.
"I know, just so you know. Lance told me... a while ago."
"Oh. Well, good." He smiled at her. "Everything that I've done or said that sounded weird was because of her. I only let myself hope with you because you didn't know who I was when we first met."
"Joey, I'm gonna say this once. Its not what you are that matters, its who you are. And you're the kindest..." Clara paused and kissed him gently on the lips, "most gentle..." She paused again and kissed him once more, "most honest man I have ever met." She leaned in and kissed him one last time.
"And you are one in a million," he copies her actions, "for even bothering to look behind the image."
"Joey, the image is nothing compared to the real you." Her eyes sparkled suddenly. "Image is nothing, obey your thirst."
He burst into laughter and tickled her gently. "You're telling me, image is nothing," he muttered.
"Hey, look at my image. It certainly is nothing to be proud of." Clara laughed gently as well. "But, at the same time, I'm glad you have that image, Joey."
He lifted his eyebrows. "Oh? why?"
"Because that means the fans aren't falling in love with the real you, they're falling in love with a fictional character. As long as they love something that doesn't exist, you're all mine."
He thought for a minute. "Yes. That's true, I guess... but then, they don't really stand a chance anyway."
"I know, but still. All of them want the image. They don't want you. That makes the jealousy easier to tolerate, because there isn't any. I know that you aren't going to fall in love with a 16 year old fan, because I trust you." Clara spoke those last three words in such a strong voice that Joey had no doubt she was telling the truth.
His arms tightened around her. "Good. Because I trust you, too."
"Joey." Clara paused, taking a deep breath. She wanted to tell him, it'd been on her mind so much. "I love you," she finally whispered, burying her face in his arm.
Joey was very quiet for a minute, gently stroking her hair. "You keep amazing me," he said finally. "I'm not sure how you do it." He twisted his hand in the hair at the nape of her neck, pulling gently so he could see her face, catch her eyes. "I love you, too."
Clara smiled slightly, and hugged him close, savoring those words. They meant so much to her.
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