It took Marissa a while to get herself back together. She didn't understand, exactly, why that would be; she'd certainly never had that reaction before. It took her longer to wake up in the morning once she'd gotten to work; she still felt like she was in a daze when she got home, and hating how empty her apartment felt, she called either Anika or Clara for company.
They were waiting for her one afternoon when she got home, worried expressions on their faces. She stared at them in some surprise. "Um. Hi?" she asked.
"Hi," Clara said. "Open the door, change into something comfortable, we're going out."
Marissa blinked. "Oh. Okay." She unlocked her door, dropped her coat and bag, and vanished into her bedroom. When she reappeared in jeans and a sweatshirt, she followed them out to Anika's car. They were seated at a small café before anyone said anything.
"So, Marissa, what's going on?" Clara asked.
Marissa shrugged. "Not much, actually. I hate work."
Anika laughed. "Nothing new there. What's got you so bummed?" She knew, she just thought Marissa needed to say it herself.
"Bummed?" Marissa repeated.
Clara snorted. "You've been a zombie for the last two weeks, Riss. What is going on?"
Marissa sighed. "Mixed signals from Chris," she said quietly. "I just don't know what to do."
The waitress interrupted, and the three bent over their menus to order. When she'd walked away again, Clara and Anika both looked at Marissa. "What do you mean?" Anika asked.
Marissa shifted, looking uncomfortable. "I just feel like I can't say anything to him," she said.
"That made sense," Clara said with some sarcasm.
"Well, like when he was here, he said something about having reasons to return, and I said I'd have to keep my house clean. He told me I didn't have to just because of him; I told him I didn't have any other famous people coming to visit, of course it was because of him. And he stiffened up and didn't say anything...." She sighed. "I just wish I hadn't said that about famous people."
Clara nodded. "Okay, so, that was one comment."
"Just an example," Marissa said. "Do you remember the shirt I showed you just after we got back from the tour?"
Clara shook her head, mystified, and Anika nodded. "The FuManSkeeto one?" she asked.
Marissa nodded. "Yeah. It's a one-of-a-kind. We were talking once about it, and I told him that blue wasn't my color - at least, not that color of blue - but that I loved the patch he's got on the blue hoodie, the weird lady thing. I said I'd love one of those on the black hoodie. He had one made for me."
Anika looked confused. Clara shrugged. "So?" she asked.
"I'm not sure I really follow, either," Anika admitted.
Marissa shifted again, playing with her drink. "Maybe it's nothing," she said. "But he said something about Tamara, his former girlfriend, and how she showed her true colors. But he wouldn't explain, and changed the subject when I asked. I never know when something I say is going to make him mad, and when he'll just laugh it off. Like the whole famous people comment."
Clara shrugged again. "I don't get where the shirt comes in."
Marissa took a drink of her water. "I honestly don't know if he got it for me because he thought I expected him to. He thinks I've become friends with them just for bragging rights...."
"Uh," Anika said, holding up her hand and staring at her friend. "You think he still thinks that?" she asked intensely.
"Oh, wait, Joey said something about that," Clara said, looking at Marissa narrowly. "But you still believe that, even after the way he kissed you?"
Marissa opened her mouth to respond, only to close it again as the waitress brought their order over. She munched on a fry until the woman was gone again. "I don't know," she admitted as she poured mustard on her burger. "For all I know, he wants to give me enough rope to hang myself. He might be collecting proof of what ‘I'm really like'." Her fingers made quotes in the air, then she picked up her knife and cut the hamburger in half. "I've said some things that he could easily add to that collection."
Clara set her fork down, accidentally flicking a piece of her Caesar salad across the table and over Anika's shoulder. "So, what are you going to do?"
Marissa chuckled softly, glad of the distraction. "Did you do that on purpose?" she asked.
Clara flushed. "No. Really."
Anika looked up in interest. "So?" she asked.
"Gather as much info on this Tamara girl as I can. Even if it means pumping the other guys and the body guards for information." She grimaced slightly. "Too bad I couldn't get hold of Jordan Knight and ask him. She used to work for him. That's how she and Chris met."
"Why not just ask Chris?" Anika asked, turning back to her chicken.
"I tried. He avoided the question like a pro. I don't want to make him uncomfortable," Marissa said. "I like the idiot, may even love him, but I don't know and I want the time to find out."
Clara's eyes glazed over, and Marissa gave a short laugh. "There he goes, distracting her again," she whispered to Anika.
"Who?" Anika asked, glancing at Clara in complete bewilderment.
"Joey. The thought of him just spaces her out so badly I want to send a search party after her thoughts. He's the reason she doesn't remember my shirt. I showed it to her, but she was four states away in the bus with him. It's rather pathetic, if you ask me."
"I heard that," Clara said, and turned to Anika. "So, what do you hear from JC?"
Anika managed a bewildered look, which was utterly ruined as her face flushed. Both Clara and Marissa laughed. "Yeah, I thought so," Marissa grinned. "You're as bad as she is."
"He's coming to visit next week," Anika said shyly.
"Invite me if you go dancing?" Marissa asked. "I'll stay clear of you, and it'll get me out of the house. Please?"
"Me, too!" Clara piped up.
Anika grinned slyly. "Okay. Not a problem."
"So, Chris has been, JC's gonna be here soon, what about Joey? When is he going to visit?" Marissa asked.
Clara shifted slightly. "I don't know. It's never come up."
Marissa laughed. "You never once suggested that you'd like to see him again?" she asked, incredulous.
Clara grinned. "I've hinted. I think he knows."
Anika snorted. "This is Joey we're talking about," she said with a laugh.
"Hey," Clara protested.
"And he's a man," Marissa said before Clara could go on. "He probably doesn't know anything you haven't told him straight out."
Clara rolled his eyes. "That may be true of the men you know...."
"Of which Joey is one," Marissa teased.
"Be quiet! That may be true of most men, but Joey's different," Clara maintained.
"Just ask him," Anika said. "It's rather enlightening when you actually talk to him."
Clara chuckled. "Finding this out with JC?" she asked.
Anika blushed slightly. "Yeah. We've been talking a lot."
"Anything you want to share?" Marissa asked, backing off a bit. She was really interested, and knew that if Anika felt threatened, she'd get absolutely nothing out of her. And she was really glad the focus had gone to Anika and had gotten off of her.
"Anything you can share?" Clara asked, wiggling her eyebrows up and down.
"No, he did not write Digital Getdown for me," Anika sighed, rolling her eyes with a grin. "I think he wrote it for you and Joey, only he didn't know you yet."
Clara looked confused. "Who didn't?"
"Take your pick," Marissa grinned. "None of them did, and neither did we. But," she added with a grin, "we're glad that's changed. Specially since you're paying tonight?"
"Oh, no, don't drop that on me, I'm a poor teacher!" Clara protested.
"I'm a poor clerk, and Anika's a poor student! So?" Marissa shrugged.
"I'm not a poor student, I'm a financially deprived student. I happen to think I'm a very good student," Anika stated, and got up to pay. "I'm leaving. Everyone in my car had better come with."
Clara and Marissa followed her, laughing.
The phone tempted Anika. She longed to reach over, dial JC, and forget about her test for a while. But she couldn't. She ignored the silent call of the phone for all of fifteen minutes before snatching it up and dialing. To her chagrin, he didn't answer, but his answering machine did. "I'm not here right now, I'm in LA. If you need to talk to me, please dial my cell number. Otherwise, leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I get the chance. Thanks." With a sigh, she hung up and dialed again, hoping he wasn't busy.
"Hello?"
"Hi, JC."
He chuckled. "I was just thinking of you," he said.
She blushed, even though he couldn't see her. In fact, she was rather glad he couldn't see her. "Good thoughts or bad?" she asked.
"Oh, good ones, of course. I was trying to decide if I should call you or not. I know you've got a test tomorrow that you're supposed to be studying for."
"I was," she protested. "I studied for barely fifteen minutes, and that was all the longer I could resist your phone number. Trying not to think of you wasn't working."
"I'm not worth thinking about?" he asked with mock injury.
She chuckled. "Yes, you are, but you're getting in the way of the test material. It's likely I could score rather high on a test about JC Chasez, but since that's not what the test is on, I'm trying to concentrate on techniques of painting."
He laughed. "I'm glad you called. I was going through withdrawal."
"From what?" she asked.
"From hearing your voice."
She blushed again. "Yeah, well, that was part of the reason I called," she said.
"What was the other part?"
Anika paused. "I talked to Marissa today." Her tone was serious.
"What about?" He sounded like he was dreading this conversation.
"She's really confused about Chris. I guess he's giving her mixed signals. She really doesn't know what to do about it, and if there is anything she can do about it."
JC sighed. "That doesn't surprise me, actually."
There was a note in his voice that sounded like he'd been expecting this conversation. "Why doesn't that surprise you?"
"He went ballistic a few months ago, and she caught the brunt of it. You know that, Anika, you were there. And I'm not surprised she's confused because I'm on the outside of this relationship and I'm confused. The people on the outside are supposed to see clearer than the ones on the inside, or so my parents seem to think whenever they talk to me about my relationships." He paused. "I had a conversation about this, a little, with Chris a while ago. I don't think he realizes what he's doing, exactly."
"Oh, that's so reassuring," Anika teased, then grew serious again. "What happened with this Tamara person?"
He was quiet. "That's something she'll have to ask him about. I don't even know the whole story. He was real quiet about it. Which was really weird," he added, musing. "Chris doesn't get quiet like that without a reason, so I'm guessing it was harder than he let on."
Anika sighed. "I thought you'd say I had to ask him."
"I'm not sure you need to know," he said gently. "This is mostly between Marissa and Chris."
"He's not saying anything," she protested. "What if she were to ask you?"
"Uh...." That had apparently not crossed his mind. "I don't know," he said slowly.
"If she asks, will you tell her something? Please?" Anika asked softly.
He paused. "It depends on the question, but I'll tell her what I can without breaking any kind of confidence - stated or not - with Chris."
She huffed slightly. "It sounds like you're taking his side."
JC laughed. "I'm not. I'm all for him telling her. But like I said, I don't know the whole story, and I have to live with him once it's done. And if he's mad, there's no telling what he'd do...."
Anika sighed. "I know. So, how are the plans coming?"
There was a silence on the other end, then he sighed. "Changing topics like that can be dangerous to your mental health," he grinned. "So far, so good. I can't wait to see you."
"Believe me, it's mutual," she said.
"I'd be worried if it wasn't," he teased. "They tell me there's no VIP lounge in the Portland airport."
Anika chuckled. "That wouldn't surprise me," she admitted. "It's a small airport."
"Then you'll have to be at the gate so we can make our escape," he grinned.
"I'll be there, don't worry," she said. "Unfortunately, if I don't pass this test tomorrow, it will be a boring visit for both of us as I study for the make up exam."
"I guess I'll let you go, then," There was regret in his voice. "Study hard."
"Now that I've talked to you and gotten that distraction out of the way, I will. Thanks. Bye." She hung up, and with a sigh, Anika went back to her school work.
The phone was ringing when Clara got home from the school, and she shed her coat on the way to grab it, leaving it in a heap on the floor in the hallway. "Hello?" she answered breathlessly.
"And you say my timing stinks."
Clara laughed. "Hey, Joey."
"Hi. How was your day?"
She dropped bonelessly into a handy chair. "Tiring. Guess what we're doing right now?"
"Learning about ecosystems?" he asked.
She laughed. "Nothing so simple. No, we're doing the talent show. Only, this time it's Britney Spears."
Joey laughed. "That could be seriously scary, the way she's turned out."
"I've edited it, for sure."
"Well, I guess it's good," he mused. "It means you won't get sick of our songs this year."
Clara chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so," she said. "Hey, Joey, what are you doing next weekend?"
"I'm actually staying in LA with Chris. He's got a couple of things going, with both FuManSkeeto and with Child Watch."
"You are?" she asked, disappointed.
"Yeah. Why?"
"Oh, it's just.... JC is visiting Anika, and I was hoping you could join him. Or me, which would be preferable."
"I'm sorry." His disappointment was plain to her. I'd already told Chris I'd stay when JC asked. If I could change it, I would."
"Are you sure you can't?"
"Yeah. I'm giving half of a presentation. Chris is nervous enough as it is. If I backed out now, he'd flip. That is never a pretty sight."
Clara sighed. "Well, we can't let him flip out if I'm not there to see it. What about the next weekend?"
He paused. "Free and clear so far. Shall I schedule a visit to Portland?"
Grunting slightly, Clara got out of her chair and grabbed her day planner. She sank back in the chair and opened it. Then she sighed. "No. I've got meetings I can't miss."
"We'll keep working on it, then," he said, disappointed.
"Yeah." She slumped against the back of the chair. "Hey, Joey?"
"Uh huh?"
"Speaking of Chris, I talked to Marissa a while ago."
"Yeah?"
"Who is this Tamara chic?"
"Tamara?" he repeated. "She was Jordan Knights make up artist. She latched onto Chris really fast when Jordan joined the "Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now" tour. They had a really nasty break up."
"Is she the reason he's been less that nice to Marissa?"
"Probably." He sounded hesitant.
"Probably?" she coaxed.
"Actually, it's closer to almost certainly. Remember when I told you he messed up with her?"
"Yeah."
"I'm pretty sure it reflects back on Tamara. I'm not sure, though. You'd have to ask him."
"Oh, I will." There was almost a promise of violence in her voice.
"On second thought," he added, almost too fast, "if the way he's been is any indication, you'd better not ask at all."
"Why?" she demanded.
"Because," he chuckled, "you are extremely volatile. This subject makes Chris really unstable. Combine the two, and I really don't want to know if I'd be out a girlfriend or a best friend."
Clara chuckled. "I wouldn't hurt him," she protested.
"No.... It's more a case of trust," he said, almost hesitantly. He didn't want to use that, but it was something she'd understand and respect.
She paused. "All right. I won't ask."
"Thanks."
"But will you answer if she does?"
He hesitated a little longer. "I don't know. It's probably depend on the question."
"Fair enough. What does your schedule look like in three weeks?"
He paused. "Um... There's a meeting on Saturday morning. Want to fly out to Orlando on Friday night? You can sleep in, and I'll wake you up when we're done," he said in an enticing tone of voice. "Just say the word and I'll get you a ticket."
Clara hesitated. "You don't have to," she said.
"Nope. But I want to."
She hesitated just a little longer, but she couldn't stop the smile that grew on her face at the thought of a weekend with him. "Consider the word said."
"Yes! I'll let you know the flight information as soon as I know it."
"Great. Thank you, Joey."
"Thank you," he said softly. "So, what else it planned for this wonderful day?"
She groaned. "Parent/teacher conferences. They start in about two hours."
"Oh. I hated those," he told her.
"Why?" she asked, amused.
"I didn't like the school I went to much. I mean, I'm glad I went, now, but at the time, I hated it. And everything I did wrong that they didn't send home with me in a note, they covered at the conferences.
"I take it you weren't good?"
"Not really. But then we moved to Orlando, and that went over much better, as far as I was concerned."
Clara laughed. "Transplanting brings out either the best or the worst in kids," she said.
"And everyone else," he said thoughtfully. "I've got to go. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"You'd better," she said softly. "I love you."
"Love you, too," he said. "Bye."
"Bye." She hung up, slumped in her chair, and just smiled. Three weeks wasn't really that long. After a short minute, she heaved herself out of her chair and went to find something to eat. She could only guess at the backlash she might get about the talent show thing her class was doing.
Go on to Next Chapter | Chance