Packing had never been so hard. Marissa spent the whole month trying to make sure she had everything she needed for this move, trying to keep the loss she felt out of her voice when Chris called her. She was careful to be the one to get the mail, so her mother didn't notice when her visa came in for working in Austria or any of the other paraphernalia she needed to find a job and a place to stay.
She called Chris about two days before her departure, gripping the phone nervously as she lay curled up in the corner of her mother's living room couch. "Hello?"
"This isn't Chris," she said. "This is Marissa. Can I talk to him, please?"
The laugh that came over the line was familiar. "Hi, Marissa. This is Dre. He'll be right back. Just a second."
"Thanks."
She actually didn't have long to wait. "Hi, Marissa."
There was a warmth to his voice and she fought to keep from bursting into tears. "Hey." Her voice stuck in her throat. "Bad time?"
"Not really. Best time you could have called. What's up?"
"Just... well, sappy as it seems, I wanted to talk to you just to hear your voice." He was silent, and she managed to laugh. "That means talk, Chris!"
He chuckled. "It took me off guard. I've heard people say that to Lance before, but I'm not reputed to have a sexy voice."
"Hm... Can't deny that, but that doesn't make it any less beloved for not being sexy."
He didn't answer for a moment, and Marissa couldn't stop the tears that filled her eyes. "Sorry," he said finally. "That... I think I know how you felt that time I called you from the airport. Heck of a shock to the system."
She laughed, glad that he'd managed to ease the tension again. "Yes, it is," she agreed. "What's up for tonight?"
"Concert. In fact, I just got out of make-up, they've still got Joey, Lance and JC to do."
"So, on to wardrobe, without Candy. Are you glad?"
He sighed. "Yes. I don't mind making trouble, but she... started to obsess over getting my clothes right. I think it wound up being a race to see who was going to crack first."
"Congratulations on winning," Marissa smiled. "I never had any doubts."
"I did. I think I drove everyone insane, even Lance. And Tim was about to despair."
"Oh, there's a surprise," she said, dead pan, and he laughed.
"Yeah, I guess I had it in for him from the beginning. I'm just glad he's gone."
"From the beginning?! How did he stand you?" Marissa demanded.
"Hey!"
"What? I think you're a wonderful man, but you like me, and I have to admit that you've frustrated me sometimes. I can't even imagine what you were like with him."
He was quiet. "Did I ever tell you I'm sorry about attacking you over the whole 'Gina' thing with Joey?"
She smiled. "Yes, you did."
"Justin told me what you said."
Marissa stiffened. "Which time?"
"Oh, there are secrets you want the Curly one to keep from me?" he teased.
"Um...."
Chris laughed. "No, it was at the dinner, when he asked you to dance, just after the whole program was over. He said you complained that I went after you instead of Gina."
"You did," she reminded him.
"I know. I had a reason, too. Because Joey was hurting so badly, I didn't think he could take another blow like that." He shifted a little. "I was afraid, really."
"Prevention, rather than cure," she said with understanding.
"Yeah, something like that."
A giggle broke the silence, and Chris sighed. "Who was that?" Marissa asked.
"Justin picked up a girlfriend. She's... unique."
"Oh," Marissa said.
The following silence was comfortable, and Marissa stifled a sigh of content. She knew what she was giving up. "What's going on after tonight?"
"We'll finish the North American tour, have a three week break, start on the South American leg of the tour, then we'll hit Australia, Asia, and Europe."
Marissa fought to hide her dismay. "Oh? Where in Europe are you going?"
"I think we're gonna hit about every country there," he said, "but Lance is the one to ask that about."
She forced a chuckle. "Of course, Scoop knows everything," she said softly.
"Not everything, but he comes darn close." He sighed. "They're calling me to get dressed. I have to go."
"Okay." She paused and took a deep breath. "Hey, Chris?"
"Yeah."
"I just... wanted to thank you for your friendship. It's been the best part of my life the last year or so." She had to fight to keep the tears out of her voice that had begun to track down her cheeks.
There was a silence. "You're welcome. And Riss - Marissa - I've enjoyed it, too."
She chuckled, surprised at how pleased she was to hear that hated nick name. "Good. Better go. Have a great show."
"I will. Talk to you later."
"Good-bye."
He hung up, then stared at his phone for a moment before Dre grabbed his arm and dragged him down the hall. She hadn't said she'd talk to him later. What was up with that?
The thought that something was wrong with Marissa had been pressing on Chris all day, which had caused him to be short with everyone. He hadn't had a spare minute to call her; it had been one of the busiest days they'd had on the tour. Dinner was a hurried affair, and Chris found he didn't have an appetite. His last conversation with her had been two days before, and something about it had seemed off, although he couldn't exactly pin it down, what it had been that made him think that. He honestly couldn't concentrate on anything right now.
"Look, guys, I'm sorry," Rich said. Their new tour manager was still trying to get used to them, and to be honest, most of the day had been the left overs from what Tim had scheduled before he was replaced. "There shouldn't be another day like this again."
Joey barely looked up; JC nodded. "That would be great," he said.
Chris pushed his plate away. "This is horrid," he grumbled. Justin gave him a narrow look, then stood up.
"All right, if you aren't going to eat, go call Marissa." He pulled Chris to his feet; Chris didn't resist, too surprised to think about it. Once he was up, Justin firmly shoved him towards the door. "There's a small room three doors down where you can have some privacy. Go. Now."
Chris stared at him in some disbelief, then went. Justin sank down in his seat and sighed. "Thank you," JC said. "I might have killed him in another couple of minutes."
Chris' hands were shaking as he dialed Marissa's mother's number. The voice mail picked up, and he sighed in frustration. "This is Chris Kirkpatrick. I was trying to get a hold of Marissa. Call me back anytime, I'll be up late." He left his number and hung up, then slumped against the wall. Something was just wrong, and he didn't know what. 'Please don't let her be in the hospital or dead,' he prayed silently, almost desperately. The thought crossed his mind that this was what she'd meant, about disappearing, and he hoped it was that and nothing more lethal. Taking a deep breath, he went back to where the rest of the group was.
"Well?" Joey asked.
"No answer." He sank back in his seat and tried dinner again. It went down a little better this time.
The show went great, although Chris still seemed a little distracted. They relaxed on the bus on the way to the hotel, even Chris, who'd been pacing every evening for the last week and driving them all nuts. But no pacing tonight, although he fidgeted pretty badly. Their arrival at the hotel was uneventful.
Once he was pretty much settled into his room, Justin went to find Chris. The older man opened the door and let him in without a word, then paced across the room again.
"You've got to calm down," Justin said. "What is it?"
"I wish I knew," Chris said. "I've just had a feeling that something was wrong all day."
"Did you call your mom?"
"Yeah. Nothing wrong over there." He shrugged. "Besides, Marissa's the one on my mind."
Before Justin could respond, the ‘Can Can' went off and Chris grabbed his phone. "Hello?"
Justin hoped it was Marissa, or he might have to drug his friend to get him to sleep. He almost laughed at the idea.
"What?" Chris demanded, and the blood drained from his face. "What do you mean by that?" Justin straightened and stared at him. Chris turned away from him, took a deep breath, and nodded once. "Okay. Thanks. If you hear anything, you'll let me know?" His voice was trembling, and Justin moved closer, almost afraid of the violent reaction that was sure to come. "Thank you. Good-bye." He closed the phone and paused, then his arm drew back. Justin grabbed the phone out of his hand before it shattered against the wall.
"What happened."
Chris spun and glared at him. "She's gone."
Justin stared at him, tucking the phone absently into his pocket. "Who's gone where."
Chris shook his head in frustration. "Marissa's gone. Her mother didn't know where. She got on a plane this afternoon, but she didn't see where to. In fact, she only found out she'd gone because Marissa left a message on her voice mail." He sank down on the bed, then his eyes lit up. "Give me my phone." Justin handed it to him warily, and watched him dial almost frantically. "Hi, Anika? This is Chris. Have you heard from Marissa?"
"Chris?" she asked sleepily. "Why are you calling now?"
"Please, I know it's late, and I'm sorry. Is Marissa there?"
"No, she's not. She's at her mother's house."
"Her mother said she flew out of there sometime today."
Justin picked up the hotel phone and dialed quietly. "Joey, I need Clara's number."
"She left?" Anika sounded awake again. "Where did she go?"
Chris took a deep breath. "I was hoping you knew something about it. Her mother doesn't."
"Try her father."
"Do you have his number?"
"No. Call Tina back," Anika said. "And Chris, let me know if you find her, okay?"
"I will. Thanks, Anika." He hung up and dialed the number again, reaching for the pen and paper Justin held out to him. "Tina, sorry to call so late. Did you check with Marissa's father?"
"Yes, I did. He doesn't know anything either." She sounded like she was in tears. "I'm really sorry, Chris."
His shoulders slumped. "Yeah, me too. Thanks." He hung up.
"Try Clara," Justin said. Chris glanced at him.
"No offense, but if she didn't tell Anika, what makes you think she'd have told Clara?"
"Try her," he demanded. With a sigh, Chris dialed the number on the paper Justin held out.
"Hello, Clara? This is Chris Kirkpatrick."
"Chris? Is something wrong?" She sounded wide awake.
"Have you heard from Marissa?"
There was a long pause. "No, I haven't, actually. Why?"
He sighed. "Her mother said she left today, and no one knows where."
"Anika?"
"She hasn't heard anything. All right, thanks, Clara, and I'm sorry if I woke you up."
"No problem. You'll let me know if you find her?"
"I will. Bye." He hung up and set the phone on the bed next to him. "Well," he said, fighting to keep his voice steady. "I think I'm going to go to bed."
Justin stared at him. "You're going to bed?"
"What else am I going to do?" Chris asked. "It wasn't as if I didn't have any warning; she said she was going to do this." He grabbed his phone and got up. With somewhat mechanical movements, he tucked it in his bag, and opened his suitcase.
"What did you say?" Justin asked softly.
"What could I say?" he shrugged. Digging through, he found a pair of sweats. "I asked her not to go." He turned suddenly, eyes blazing. "I should have known! I should have been prepared for this!"
Justin flinched backwards. "What?"
Chris gestured. "This whole dating thing. Nothing good ever comes of it."
Justin's eyes narrowed. "Don't you even dare," he growled. "Marissa is nothing like Tamara." Chris flinched. "You've been waiting for her to mess up, haven't you? But she never did. No wonder she felt like she couldn't ask anything of you! How long were you going to ask her to prove that she wasn't like Tamara?" He sighed when Chris didn't answer, and fought to calm down. It took him a couple of breaths. "You're the one who said you wanted more than a friendship with her."
"Yeah, well, it happened." Chris turned back to his suitcase, more confused than ever. "And then...." He fell against the wall and slid down it. "What am I gonna do, J?"
"I don't know," Justin said, a little surprised, then he shook his head. "I think the going to bed idea is a good one." He pulled Chris to his feet again, and propelled him toward the bed. "Sleep a little. If you aren't asleep in half an hour, tell me."
Chris sat on the bed and stared at him. "Why?"
"Because I'll make sure you do." Justin sighed. "Just try, okay?"
Chris nodded. "I'll try."
With a last, narrow-eyed look, Justin left. He walked slowly down the hall toward his own room, trying desperately to come up with some idea of how to help his friend.
Joey looked out his door as Justin passed by, and pulled him in. "What did you need Clara's number for?" he asked.
Justin took a deep breath. "I was hoping she might know where Marissa was."
Joey stared at him. "Chris doesn't know?"
Justin shook his head. "Neither does Anika, Tina, or Marissa's father. She just vanished. She flew out...." He struck his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Duh. Airport records." He snatched his phone and started his research. Joey grabbed paper and pen and settled at the desk, waiting to write down whatever Justin found out.
Justin hung up, tired, and put his head down on the table. "Talk about a runaround," he muttered. "What did we find out?"
"She got off in London, and isn't planning at this time to return," Joey reported. "She might as well have gone to Madagascar for all the research we could do."
Justin straightened. "Well, we have all of Europe to search through, and a European tour to do it in."
"And no one who speaks any of the languages," Joey reminded him, then his eyes lit up and he grinned. "Just a lot of fans."
"What are you thinking?" Justin asked warily.
"I don't know yet. Let me think it over a little. After I've slept."
Justin nodded. "All right. I'm going to go check on Chris, then I'm going to bed."
Joey took a deep breath. "Did he take it bad?"
"I think so. He went from angry to hopeless to despair in about a minute's time. He's going to try to pass it off as not really caring," he added.
Joey let out a short laugh. "Oh, yeah, that's gonna work," he scoffed. "Just let him try it."
Justin nodded. "That's what I thought." He took the paper from the table, and started for the door. "Thanks for your help, Joe. Sleep well, and I'll see you in the morning."
"Night."
Justin went back down to Chris' room, letting himself in with the key. It was dark, but the light from the window spilled across the bed. Chris was asleep, as far as he could tell. With a soft sigh of relief, he left for his own room.
The next morning, Chris was awake and ready to go, even with the steady supply of jokes that usually drove his friends crazy, but they seemed only half hearted at best. Justin watched him warily. He'd acted just like that for weeks after he and Tamara had fought it out. Unaware of his friend's scrutiny, Chris climbed on the bus, crawled into his bunk, and went back to sleep immediately. Justin sank down in the back. "I thought he'd have trouble sleeping," he muttered to JC, who looked at him blearily.
"What?"
"Oh. Right. You haven't heard. No one knows where Marissa is." He paused. "Not true. We know she flew to London, and that's it. And I'm fairly sure she knows where she is."
"London?" JC asked. "That shouldn't be too hard to find, then."
"If she stayed there."
"She speaks German," JC said after a minute.
Justin looked at him in surprise. "How'd you know?"
"She said something that morning when we took them shopping for that Benefit - the one where Joey met Clara. Ask Lance. I bet he remembers more than that. He may have talked to her about it more. And Anika's sure to know something; they've been best friends for years."
"It's better than nothing," Justin said, and leaned back. "But not right now." He was too tired to think.
As soon as most of the bus was awake again, Justin cornered Lance in the front. Chris and Joey were fighting it out in the back on a video game, which was all the better, as far as Justin was concerned. And JC was either still asleep or talking to Anika in his bunk. He didn't hear anything, that meant nothing at all. "Hey, Lance?" he asked.
Lance started, looking up at Justin in surprise. "I thought that was you back there," he said.
Justin gave him half a smile. "No. JC said you know something about Marissa," he started.
Lance set his pen down. "Like what?" he asked warily.
"Did you hear the latest?"
"No."
"She's gone. No one knows where she is."
Lance's eyes widened. "What?" he asked.
"Her mother called Chris last night to say that she was gone. Anika and Clara don't know where she is."
"How's Chris taking it?"
Justin rolled his eyes. "Once he got it through his head that she wasn't anything like Tamara... He's pretty broken up about it. JC said you talked to her?"
"That explains this morning," Lance mused. "Yeah, I talked to her when she was in New York with us, but I told you about that already."
Justin shook his head. "No, earlier. He said something about that she knows German?"
"Oh. Yeah. She does. I don't know how fluently, but she asked if I'd understand anything she said. Nothing more than that. We never talked about it again."
Justin sighed. "All right, I'll talk to Anika."
"Let me know what you find," Lance said softly as Justin got up.
"I will." He climbed into his bunk and grabbed his cell phone, dialing the number. It came up busy, and he slapped himself in the head. "Hello," he muttered wryly. "JC." He hung up, climbed out of his bed, and stuck his head in the curtains of JC's bunk.
"Hey," his friend protested.
"Can I talk to Anika really quick?" Justin asked.
JC's eyebrows drew together, then he nodded. "Sure."
Justin took the phone and retreated to the front of the bus. "Hey, Anika?"
"Justin?"
"Yeah, sorry. I have a question I need to ask you."
"Shoot."
"Marissa knows German. How fluent is she?"
Anika paused. "I think she was fluent enough to live there, because she did."
"Where?"
There was a longer pause, then a sigh. "I don't remember," she said in a small voice. "I'm sorry. Just it was somewhere in... Oh! Austria! It was Austria. She lived there for a year."
Justin smiled. "Great. Thanks. That's a huge help. I'll give you back to JC now." He handed the phone back to JC and went to tell Lance what he'd found out. Which, they discovered not too long after, did them absolutely no good at all.
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