"You okay, Chris?" Justin asked, slipping through the connecting door. Chris spared him a glance, going back to the computer immediately. He'd been trying to put his thoughts down any way he could get them, and Justin knew this was just the latest attempt. He'd been like this all the way through South America and Asia.
"Yeah, why?" He started typing, and Justin waited until he finished, a small smile on his face. He knew better than to interrupt him.
"Whatcha typing?" he asked as soon as he'd quit, and Chris looked up at him.
"Song. What did you want?"
Justin's eyebrow lifted. "I wanted to know if you were okay. You've been real quiet lately."
Chris shrugged. "Not much to say, I guess." He looked back at the computer screen, grimaced, and closed the laptop with a snap. "What are you doing away from... what's her name again?"
Justin scowled. "Veronica." He refrained, if barely, from throwing the whole Tamara thing in his face. "She's out shopping. Are you doing okay?" He wondered vaguely who the scowl was for; Chris because he couldn't remember her name, or Veronica, for being out shopping again. He knew Chris didn't like her. He could even guess why. He, on the other hand, didn't have the memories his friend did, and he didn't think he liked her much.
Chris shrugged one shoulder slowly. "I will be okay," he said in measured tones reminiscent of Cain in 'Kung Fu: The Legend Continues'. Justin snorted.
"I'm not so sure." He sank down on the bed, blue eyes fixed on his older friend. Chris looked back at him blandly.
"Why don't you think so?"
"I don't know. Because you don't talk about her? Because your jokes are worse than usual? Because something just doesn't feel right? I'm not sure what makes me think that, but it won't go away." He shifted, uncomfortable. "We've been friends for a long time. You're acting weird."
"So everyone says," Chris said flippantly.
"Weird for you," Justin clarified, and Chris scowled.
"I'm fine, Justin. She's just a girl, we broke up, no big deal."
Justin nodded slowly. "Right. Which is why you flinch half the time someone says your name. If Anika or Clara call, you leave the room."
Chris stared at him, eyes wide in what Justin took was supposed to be innocence. "What, are you studying me?" he demanded.
"No! But we've all noticed, even Clara, who can't seem to get her attention off Joey." He gave a short chuckle. "Which is a good thing right now." He gestured rather violently. "Beside the point. You're not handling this well." Horridly, in fact, his mind supplied.
Chris shook his head. "No, I'm not, but I am handling it on my own. I'd like to keep handling it that way."
"Fine." Justin stood and folded his arms. "But as soon as your performance suffers, we'll make you talk."
Chris blinked, then grinned. "I'd like to see you try."
Justin smiled evilly. "We'll just have Joey sit on you, then the rest of us get to torture you. Joey's already agreed to it." The smile faded. "We mean it, Chris," he added, only a little harsher. No reason to make him close up after coming this far.
Chris took a deep breath. "Yeah, I know. Which is why my performance on stage is not suffering."
"Okay." In spite of the flashes of humor, Justin was still worried. With one last significant look, he left the room, closing the door behind him. JC, Lance and Joey gave him inquisitive looks, and he shrugged. "He says he'll be fine," he said, sinking down in the only unoccupied chair with a grimace. "I'm not sure I believe him, but what else can we do?"
"Besides find Marissa so he can... yell at her?" JC sighed. "Or whatever he wants to do. I could be really angry with her, except that Anika is her best friend."
Lance didn't say anything, watching the others. Maybe Chris had been right when he'd yelled at her so long ago. But he really didn't think so. He just wanted to know what had happened.
Chris had always liked London. There was so much to do, so much to see, even with Matt or Randy trailing along behind. This trip, though, he didn't feel like doing anything at all, to Matt's vocal relief that did not even make him smile. Instead, Chris locked his doors and stood out on the balcony, leaning on the railing and staring out over the city, ignoring the screams of the fans below.
"That's not very smart," a voice said softly to his right, and he turned to look blankly at Rich, who stood on the balcony next to his. Through the door he could see Justin watching him worriedly.
"No, probably not," he responded, and looked away again.
"So, why are you doing it?" Chris sighed softly and stepped back without feeling the anger he would have if it had been Tim. "I didn't say you should stop, Chris. I'm just wondering what you're doing."
"Thinking," he said, leaning against the door to his room. And I don't want to see that look on Justin's face any more, he thought. The screaming lessened.
"What about?"
"Just... a friend of mine." Is she still a friend? he wondered silently.
"Anyone I know?"
"No. She...." He didn't know what to say. Or even why he was telling Rich this at all.
"She?" No animosity, just interest, an invitation to talk could be heard in his voice.
"Yeah. Anika's best friend. Actually, JC met Anika through her." He closed his eyes.
"I see." Silence reigned, except for the diminished screams six floors down. "Where does she live?"
Chris shrugged. "She moved and didn't tell me where. Her mother doesn't know, either. We pretty much tried everything we could think of to find her."
"She just... vanished?" Rich asked.
"Just like she said."
"She said?"
"Yeah. She said she was going to." Chris didn't hear the despair or loneliness in his own voice. "I guess I didn't believe her."
The silence stretched a little. "Are you going out with everyone tonight?"
They're going out? he thought to himself. "I don't know. Probably not. I've been kinda tired, I thought I'd just crash."
"Suit yourself," Rich said in a friendly tone. "Let me know if you change your mind, okay?"
"Sure," Chris mumbled. When he opened his eyes a few minutes later, Rich was gone, and when he checked, Justin was no longer hovering just inside his room. The whole conversation had been really odd, but at least he'd had it, right? And there had been no condescension or impatience in Rich's tone at all. They seemed to finally have found some luck - as a group at least. Individually, his still stank, and most of that was his own fault.
After a long time, he went into his room and went to bed.
"I was surprised you didn't go out with us last night," Lance said, sitting down next to Chris as the bus took off the next day.
"I actually decided to sleep," Chris said quietly.
"Probably a good thing," Joey said with a grimace. "That girl of Justin's about drove us all nuts."
"Usurping my place," Chris muttered with a trace of a smile. Joey grinned, looking vaguely relieved.
"Something like that," he said. The door to the bunks opened and Veronica walked in, pausing in the doorway.
"Where's Justin?" she asked.
"This early? Still asleep," Chris told her. "Wish I was. Don't wake him up. He needs the sleep."
With a pout, she let the door close behind her and sank down on the couch next to Lance. "Does he always sleep like this?" she asked.
"Yes," Joey said. "Most of us do."
"JC's worse than all of us," Chris said. She gave him an incredulous look.
"JC is worse than Justin?" she demanded as Anika stepped in.
"Worse than Justin how?" she asked.
"He sleeps more," Lance said.
Anika grinned. "Without a doubt. And less than he usually does when I'm here. But I need help, and since I can't tell which of you is taller, Lance, will you help me out?"
He stood up quickly and followed her out of the back, carefully closing the door behind him. "She was a little close," he said softly with a shudder. "What do you need help with?"
"JC has something of mine in his bunk, and I want it back."
Lance looked at her warily. "What?"
"My CD player. He took it last night."
Lance nodded slowly, vaguely remembering a whispered argument that almost kept him awake the night before. "Okay...." He reached carefully into the bunk.
To his surprise, he retrieved the player without any further incident, and handed it to her. "Thanks," she grinned. "Do you mind if I use your bunk?"
He shook his head. "Not a bit. Let me grab some stuff." He reached in, pulled out the briefcase he kept his paperwork in, and moved to the front of the bus.
Chris joined him a few minutes later, a grimace still on his face. "She's really awful, isn't she."
Lance chuckled. "Bad. Justin's almost ready to get rid of her, I hope. He knows what she's like."
"So do I." He paused. "But you learn from your mistakes."
Lance gave him a curious look. "What did you learn?"
Chris gave a short laugh. "That I'm a complete idiot."
Lance tilted his head. "So... what are you going to do about it?"
"Do?" Chris sighed. "Not a lot I can do. At least, not about Marissa." He squared his shoulders. "Not yet."
"Do you think you'll find her?"
"Yes." I have to, his thoughts continued.
Lance smiled. "Good."
Justin, groggy and barely awake, sank down next to Chris and leaned against him. "Is she up?"
"Yes, and wondering where you are and why you're not up yet," Chris told him. "Lance can go tell her you're awake."
"No, not yet. Let me wake up, first."
Chris chuckled, and Lance smiled. Justin snorted softly, but didn't move.
"I know you're awake," Veronica called in a sing song voice. Justin groaned and straightened enough to reach for the cupboard that held the cereal.
"If she's making you groan like that, get rid of her," Chris said, only half teasing. Justin only had time to shoot him a glare before Veronica appeared.
"There you are," she cooed, and Lance grimaced at Chris, which made him laugh. Justin sank back down next to Chris.
"Yes, here I am," he muttered, and Chris laughed harder.
"What are you laughing at?" she asked, pausing uncertainly by the table near Lance, who gave her a panicked look, which only made Chris laugh harder, and he buried his face in his folded arms on the table to hide the tears the laughter had caused. Amazed, Justin turned to look at him, then glanced at Lance, who was giving Chris a look like he'd lost his mind.
"How long has it been since he's laughed like that?" Justin asked, and Lance shook his head.
"I don't know, but I think it might be catching. I'm going to retreat while I can." He gathered his papers and almost literally fled for his bunk, forgetting Anika was in it.
Justin chuckled, his day suddenly looking better, and motioned for Veronica to sit down across from him. She did with a faint pout that became an uncertain look as Chris took a deep, shaky breath and looked up.
"Hey. Where'd Scoop go?" There was still a large amount of humor in his voice, but Justin was glad to see the mischief was back in his friend's face.
"He was afraid your laughter was contagious, so he... Um..."
"Fled," Veronica put in helpfully.
"Fled," Justin nodded, giving her a smile.
The smile that crossed Chris' face was one Justin hated aimed at him, so he got up to let his friend out when Chris bumped his shoulder. The two watched the older man almost literally sneak through the bus, leaving their sight when the curtains between the front and sleeping area closed. The milk was poured and Justin was about to eat when they heard a yell, then what sounded like a war heading in their direction.
Lance came out first, and he dove under the table with a panicked look on his face. Behind him came Chris, with almost exactly the same look, and behind him came Anika, a bottle of water in her hand and her dark hair plastered to her head. "Do you have any idea what Clara is going to do to me?" she demanded once Chris was cornered. "She made me swear I wouldn't let that book get hurt."
"I thought you were Lance!" Chris protested, looking around her, trying to spot the missing blonde. Justin just grinned, and Veronica rolled her eyes. Chris caught the look and rolled his.
"Are you rolling your eyes at me?" Anika growled, and Chris jerked his eyes back to her.
"No, no, definitely not," he said, then his voice sank conspiratorially. "But Veronica thinks we're acting way too young for our ages."
Anika leaned in, a smirk on her face. "So. What." And with that, she dumped the water on Chris, who came away from the experience looking rather like a drowned rat. "Now. You got me, I got you, and if you get me again, I'll kill you and they can hire Howie."
"What is this about hiring Howie?" Veronica demanded, whining.
"Howie Dorough," Justin said, and she gave him a confused look. "He's in Backstreet Boys."
Anika stalked past him, muttering. "And until it gets dry, you might consider letting Lance have your bunk," she added before disappearing into the back.
Chris watched her go, a dumbfounded look on his face, then he grinned almost too brightly at Justin. "Where's Lance?" he asked.
Justin stared at him. "What did you do?"
Chris blushed faintly. "I dumped water in Lance's bunk, thinking it was him, and got Anika instead."
"Why are you after Lance now?"
Chris shrugged. "No reason, I guess. Only I figure he ought to share in my misery."
Justin laughed. "Go dry off. Now." He pointed imperiously when Chris hesitated, and he finally turned and walked off, muttering to himself. A few seconds after he'd disappeared, Lance peeked out cautiously.
"Is he gone?" he whispered.
"You can't hide from him forever," Justin told him softly.
"I know, but I can now."
Veronica sighed. "What is with him?"
"Who?" Justin asked.
"Chris. I thought he was ten years older than you are."
"He is, but it doesn't stop him from having fun," Justin grinned, and got up. "I'll be right back."
When he returned, dressed and feeling better, Lance had emerged from under the table and was perched on the bench across from Veronica. She looked bored, but brightened considerably when he sat next to her. "You know," Justin told Lance, "it might be better if you suck it up and face him now."
"What is he planning?"
"I don't know, but if I were you, I'd just get it over with."
With a long-suffering sigh, Lance got up and went to the back. "I'm never sure if you're on his side or mine," he said before vanishing beyond the door.
"Both," Justin chuckled softly. Veronica sighed.
"Really, Justin," she muttered.
He turned to look at her. "What?"
"Do you have any idea how... childish that is?"
Justin's eyebrows went up. "Why is that a problem?"
She gestured in frustration. "Are you always like this?"
"What?" he asked, truly confused.
"How often do you act like a kid?"
"Every chance I get. And why shouldn't I?" He was a little surprised at how defensive he got. "There's a lot of stress on us, and this is how we blow off steam. We don't want to go insane."
"You already are insane! I mean, really, dumping water in someone's bunk?" she asked, her voice raising.
Justin shrugged. "Yeah. It means we don't kill each other."
"And then she dumped water back on him? How old is she?"
"Does it matter?" Justin asked. "Something like that makes her part of the fun, part of the group." His voice had raised as well. "It's just fun. It's harmless and no one gets hurt."
"But it's childish!"
"And why does that matter?"
Justin turned around. Chris didn't look any better. In fact, he looked worse, as if someone had roughed him up a little. His hair stuck out in all directions, and the shirt he'd found was dry but intensely rumpled.
"Why don't you act your age?" she demanded.
Chris shrugged. "What is my age?" he asked.
"What, ten years older than Justin, so about 29?"
"Almost. But that's just how long I've been on this earth. I don't have to act like it. 29 sounds old, and frankly, like not a whole lot of fun."
"Is that all that's important?" she demanded, brushing Justin's hand away from her.
Chris paused as if struck, and Justin suppressed a groan. "No. And why does it matter?" he demanded suddenly. "You're a guest on this tour. You haven't done anything to make any of us like you any better. In fact, all I've ever heard out of you is criticism. If you don't like us, and the way we are, why are you here?"
Justin held his breath, almost afraid of what she was going to say. He hadn't said a thing to Veronica about Chris and Marissa, but he wasn't sure what she'd gleaned from everyone else. Her eyes narrowed, and he nearly winced. "Excuse me for wanting you to act like a grown up. I'm not used to all this." She waved her hand around.
Chris laughed bitterly. "Acting like a grown up was all I did as a child. I'm doing something I love, and so far, you're the only one who's complained about how I act. Well, I'm not fond of how you act either, but do you hear me complaining?" His voice had risen, and Justin almost cringed when Chris' fiery gaze turned on him. "Keep her away from me, Justin. I get enough criticism about other things, I don't need it about this, too." He turned and went into the bunks, and only then did Justin realize just how quiet it really was.
"Can you believe...."
"He's right," Justin interrupted her. She gasped in shock. "You are a guest. You haven't even tried to get on anyone's good side, besides mine, and alienating my best friend isn't a very good idea for doing that. And be careful, too," he added, getting up. "Chris has no use for fake people."
"You think I'm fake?" she demanded.
"I'm saying, don't be fake. Be polite, but non of us have much patience for... hypocrites."
She stared at him, then she nodded, jerkily, got up, and moved to the front of the bus. Justin sighed. He was going to send her home the next chance he got.
Go on to Next Chapter | Chance