"You guys aren't supposed...." The door slammed, cutting off the words of their driver, and Chris followed the others as they fled down the block in the middle of Vienna, Austria, laughing. It had even been his idea, only half seriously suggested because he had been sure JC would never go along with it. To his surprise, JC had not only endorsed the idea, but he'd been the one to actually start the mass exodus. For the first time in a while, the smile on Chris' face was unforced and he felt a little like his old self.
Crossing the next street, they slowed, looking around with wide eyes that no one could see behind their sunglasses. Justin's phone rang and he groaned before answering it. "Hello?"
The shout that came over the phone made him jerk it from his ear, and he glanced around for help, a pitiful look on his face.
"Tell him we're on Meyergasse," Joey said. "He can get us here."
Justin repeated his words, nodded a couple of times, and hung up. "We can't get off this street."
"Not on it," Chris muttered half heartedly, and grinned when Lance elbowed him.
"I'm hungry," JC announced, and scowled at the incredulous looks everyone shot him. "Well, I am."
"So, find a place," Lance said reasonably. "We'll wait outside."
They drifted on along the street, looking into windows, enjoying the sunshine they had only seen through windows the last few days. "Here," JC announced suddenly, and stopped.
"Here?" Justin repeated, looking at it in some surprise.
"I'm hungry. I'll be right back."
Chris moved closer to the bus stop they'd just passed, leaning against the wall and trying to look like he was waiting for the bus. Little bells jingled merrily, disturbing his blank thoughts. "All right," JC said, coming out of the store he'd stepped into. Chris pushed away from the wall and went to join them, and his eyebrows drew together at a curious look from JC.
"What?" he asked.
"You okay?"
Chris sighed. "I'm fine, JC. Just ready to go back." He thought he understood Lance's aversion to those words now.
JC nodded, and turned to look at Justin, who was on the phone. He hung up, and Chris raised his eyebrows. He hadn't even heard Justin's phone ring. "It'll be about five minutes. They got stuck in traffic."
They split up slightly, trying not to look like a group. It had worked before, maybe it would work again. JC pulled Justin aside and was explaining something to him; Chris leaned against the wall again, still close enough to the bus stop to look like he was waiting for it. After a minute, he pushed away from the wall again, restless, an odd feeling coming over him. He turned to talk to Joey, who was a little further down the walk from JC and Justin, and froze, staring in disbelief.
In the doorway to one of the stores stood a very familiar figure. Marissa blinked in the sunlight, then turned towards him. She stopped as if she'd been hit, and Chris had to fight to find his voice. "Marissa?"
His voice broke, but at least it had worked. Her eyes widened, and she turned to walk away from him. He went after her. Justin and JC blocked her path, and she turned around, slowly, her eyes on her feet. "Have you been here the whole time?" he asked, pulling his sunglasses off.
She nodded without looking up. "Mostly." He could barely hear her. He reached out, dying to touch her, and lifted her chin. Her eyes met his, held for an instant, and she stepped back, away from his touch, and her gaze dropped again. He panicked and grabbed her arms, gently this time, dropping his sunglasses. "Please, don't run away from me again," he whispered, and to his surprise, she reached out and hugged him. He folded his arms around her, holding her close, the smell of the mint in her hair bringing back a lot of good memories. He could feel her crying and held her tighter.
Lance touched his arm. "Chris, we have to go," he said gently, and indicated the van that sat at the intersection a block away.
Chris took a deep breath. "Yeah, okay." Marissa pulled away from him, and he felt suddenly cold again. She sighed, and brushed the tears from her eyes. He panicked, he couldn't just let her go like this. "Come with me?" he asked. She looked up at him, startled and almost scared, one hand frozen between her face and her side. "Just for today," he added when she didn't answer immediately.
Marissa took a deep breath and nodded. "Can we go back to my apartment for a moment?"
"What do you need?"
"Real clothes, real shoes, and my ticket." The van pulled up and they climbed in; she leaned forward and gave the driver her address in German.
"Ticket for what?" Joey asked as she settled back again.
Marissa chuckled sadly. "One of the biggest concerts in Vienna, of course. You think I'd miss it?" He couldn't take his eyes off her.
"We would have gotten you one," Justin protested.
"No," she said, glancing at Chris, "I wouldn't have done that." It hit him hard then; JC had been right, all that time ago. He'd really thought she'd shrug off his words, ignore what he'd said. Or that he'd made it clear he didn't feel that way about it anymore. She looked away from him suddenly, eyes focused on her hands clasped in her lap. JC's expression darkened and he scowled.
"So, what happened?" Justin asked JC eagerly, trying and failing to keep his voice unheard in the quiet van.
"When?"
"Marissa was in there," Lance hissed. "What happened?"
"The girl behind the counter didn't speak English, so she left and when I looked up, Marissa was standing right there to translate." Chris felt Marissa stiffen beside him, and he wondered what had bothered her about that.
"Why didn't you say something?" Joey demanded, and if Marissa hadn't been sitting right next to him, Chris would have echoed his words. She shifted, as if she were uncomfortable, and glanced up at him. She looked away before he could smile at her.
"She asked me not to," JC said after a long moment.
Before anyone could answer, the van stopped and Marissa climbed out. "I'll be right back," she said.
Chris reached out and grabbed her arm. "I'm coming with you," he said, more afraid than he would have given credit to that she'd disappear again. She nodded, and led the way into her apartment on the fourth floor. He watched her lock the door, then pick up a pile of clothes. "I'll be right back," she said softly, and vanished into the bathroom.
He looked around the room. It was small and amazingly clean. After seeing her apartment in Portland, he was a little surprised. Cupboards lined the walls, leaving an arch in which the bed rested. Across the room, against the other wall sat a chair that could fold into a bed. Straight backed chairs stood against the wall opposite the door, next to the open doorway to the kitchen.
Marissa returned, set her clothes away, then reached into another cupboard and brought out a small envelope he figured held her ticket. She was close enough that he could smell the mint in her hair. She tucked that envelope into her purse. "Okay, let's go," she said, and turned to him.
That was the limit of his self control. One arm went around her waist, pinning her against him, and he kissed her desperately. One of her hands slipped into his hair, the other grasped the shoulder of his shirt, pulling him closer to her. Almost abruptly she pushed him away, stepped back a few paces. They stared at each other.
Chris' heart stopped, and he wondered if that was how she'd felt when he pushed her away the last time they'd seen each other. Then his jaw hardened. He was not going to give her up so easily. She had to see what an idiot he'd been. "I missed you," he said after a long silence. "Please, Marissa, don't leave me again." It wasn't exactly what he'd planned to say, but it would do for now.
She gasped, and sank into one of the chairs near her kitchen, but didn't say anything. "JC told me what you said," he told her, settling down at her feet, one hand on her knee. She blinked and looked at him.
"When?"
"When you said.... you could lose yourself in me." His voice was shaking, and he couldn't stop it. "I... I feel the same way about you. It was so scary for me, I could only take you in small doses." The thought made him laugh, and he could taste the bitterness in it. "I didn't think about what it might be like for you."
Marissa smiled gently, and his heart lifted. "You had other things on your mind," she said softly as she reached out to stroke his cheek. He leaned into her touch. "I knew I was taking back seat to your career, and that didn't bother me too much. I was still trying to find my own place in life. But you... It took me weeks to recover from you."
He smiled slowly. "It took me at least that long to recover from you. I got yelled at so many times because I wasn't concentrating on the vocals, or it was the dance steps. Tim was thoroughly disgusted with me. Darren is barely speaking to me, and I'm fairly sure Rich thinks I'm an idiot." He didn't want to be talking about this now. They didn't have that much time. He straightened, and took her hand. "Come back to Orlando. Please."
She was stunned. She stared at him, her hand tightening in his. "How can I come back to a place I've never been?" she asked. He could hear the desperation in her voice, and knew a little how she felt.
"Please, Marissa." He scrambled to find something to help him convince her. "Anika needs a roommate."
"Anika would so kill me," she replied, almost too quickly.
"I don't think so." He got to his feet, conscious of JC fuming in the van below. "At least, will you think about it?" He could give her time. All the time she needed.
She nodded, almost looking relieved. He held his hand out and she took it, letting him pull her to her feet. She locked the door behind them, and they went down to the van.
The drive back to the arena was quiet. Chris sat next to Marissa, afraid to touch her, afraid he'd scare her off again. They got to the arena and piled out, but before Chris could do anything at all, Joey grabbed Marissa's arm and pulled her into a hug. Chris watched as she went from Joey to Lance, then to Justin, then JC. She seemed rather dazed when Chris pulled her into a hug, and it took JC pulling them apart for him to let her go.
JC led the way backstage. Chris smiled a little, watching his friend. He hadn't seen JC so happy in a long time.
"Where have you guys been?" Anika demanded, and at his side, Marissa froze. He slipped an arm around her waist and kept her walking.
"We ran into an old friend," JC told her, giving her a hug.
"I thought I said no more girls!" Rich boomed as he walked into the room. Marissa did her best to disappear behind Chris, but he held her tightly, giving her no room to maneuver.
"Where's another girl?" Clara demanded, and Marissa shrank into his side. Joey grinned down at his girlfriend.
"Yes, well, you'll like this one," Justin said, grinning.
"Why is that?" Rich asked, hands on hips, glaring at them all. Chris was relieved to see the smile twitching the manager's lips. They'd seen him angry once, and that had been enough. "And you're late."
"All my fault," Chris said, rather surprised that his voice sounded normal. He was a little worried about how Rich would react to three girls on tour at once. 'Stop,' he ordered his thoughts. 'She hasn't said she'd go. You haven't even asked her yet.'
"No," Marissa contradicted him. "It's partially mine. And some falls to JC, too."
"Marissa!" Anika shouted, and dodged around JC to her friend. Clara followed, her eyes narrowed. Chris let her go, but didn't look away from her, barely conscious of everyone else as the two women hugged. "Where did they find you?"
"Who is this." The humor was gone from Rich's face.
"Rich, this is Marissa," Lance said after a glance in Chris' direction that the other man didn't even seem to see. "Marissa, this is Rich, new manager and resident bully." He grinned as he said it, and Rich mock-scowled at him.
Marissa turned and smiled at him, holding out a hand. "Hi. Nice to meet you. Sorry to make them late."
He took her hand hesitantly. "Who is she?" he repeated.
"My best friend," Anika said, and Chris hoped she'd been loud enough to cover his whispered "My girlfriend." Clara shot him a warning look. Marissa stiffened slightly, but she didn't turn around, and he figured she hadn't heard. He didn't know if he were relieved or disappointed.
Rich tilted his head, his sharp eyes fixed on Chris. "I'm just here for the night," Marissa told him, and he looked at her. "I already have my ticket, and I have a job and an apartment. I have to stay in Vienna." Her voice shook slightly.
Rich nodded, his eyes sweeping over everyone else. Chris glanced at JC and Lance, who he could see easily, and he could see his disappointment on their faces as well. "All right. Let me get you a pass so you can get back here afterwards." He turned and walked away. "But no more surprises like this!" he yelled over his shoulder. "And you'd better get in to get ready."
Chris placed his hand on Marissa's shoulder and squeezed gently. She turned to face him, and he gave her a quick kiss. "I'll see you in a little while," he said, and ran after the others.
He could tell, by the way JC was looking at him, that his friend had something to say, but there was no time. He wondered, waiting for his turn and in between jokes that had them all laughing, what Anika and Clara were saying to her. Maybe they could convince Marissa to join them?
"You, Kirkpatrick, shut up, or I'll never get this done," Anne demanded, grinning at Chris as Joey sat in the chair in front of her for make-up. None of them saw Rich leave the doorway, an interested look on his face.
Chris left make up and wardrobe at a run, almost afraid of missing Marissa. He'd been unable to sit still, and everyone else had been finished for a while. It was getting close to the point where she needed to get to her seat, and he wanted to see her before she left. His heart about died when he saw her moving through everyone towards the door. He caught her just as she got in the clear. "Where you off to?" he asked softly.
"Find my seat and Gabi," she smiled. "I'll be back afterwards."
It was so hard to let her go. He was so afraid he'd done something to chase her off, that she'd disappear and he'd never see her again. "Promise?" he managed to get out.
Her smile faded, and his heart dropped. "Promise," she whispered. "I'm sorry, Chris. I didn't mean to hurt you like that." She stood on tip toe and kissed him gently before he could protest. "Knock 'em dead. I'll see you in about three hours, okay?"
He nodded and reluctantly released her, watching as she left the room. She looked back twice, then vanished out the door. He became aware of the intense silence in the room, but took his time turning around, trying to pull himself together.
"You okay?" Justin asked, right at his shoulder, half shielding him from the others.
Chris took a shaky breath. "Yeah. I think so."
"But?" Justin prodded gently.
"I just.... I'm afraid I won't see her again."
"You will," Rich said evenly from the doorway Marissa had just left through, and smiled. "You were right, Curly. I do like her. And, I have her address and phone number. As long as she lives there, you'll have a way to contact her."
Chris and Justin stared at him like he'd lost his mind. "What?" Chris asked.
Rich shook his head. "You really aren't used to people working with you, are you?" he asked lightly. "What did Tim do to you?"
"He left us behind once," Anika said. "I'm not entirely sure he didn't do it on purpose."
"That was one of the less intelligent things he'd ever done," Joey said. "He thought Clara, Marissa and Anika were too much of a distraction: he didn't realize that leaving them behind was an even bigger one. We actually apologized for that show. It was awful."
JC nodded. "I couldn't remember words to save my life, and Chris was so off he nearly ran into Lance at least twice."
"He did, once," Lance piped up from the couch. "But not as bad as Joey hit Justin. It was a real mess."
Rich nodded. "Very well, I'll remember that. No leaving girlfriends behind." He sighed. "I'll get you a copy of this, and keep this one. That way at least one of us has one. Fair?"
Chris nodded. "Fair. Thanks."
It wasn't long before they left, heading for the stage, and JC grabbed his arm, slowing him down. Chris looked at him, and sighed. "Don't say it," he said softly. "I don't think I could handle you saying ‘I told you so' right now. Just... You were right."
"I'm not going to say it," JC said with a grin. "But remember that you are going to have to work out what you said to her then before anything will happen. Your relationship started bumpy, man, it's bound to have more bumps before you're done."
Chris sighed. "Great. Where do I start?"
JC laughed, and tapped Chris on the chest. "Right there, Psycho. Right there." He ran to join the others as they started their game of hackey sack. Chris followed with more energy than he'd had in a while.
Chris paced, barely holding it together, until Anika took his arm and threw him into a chair. He started to get up, and Clara promptly sat in his lap. He stared at her in disbelief.
"Chris. You have a bunch of children coming to see you. Marissa is not going to disappear, okay? I promise. She promised. She's done everything she's said she would. Why don't you trust her all of a sudden?" Anika asked, standing in front of him and glaring down at him.
Chris stared at her, then took a deep breath. "I do. I'm just scared," he said softly. "I'm afraid I'll scare her off again."
Clara shook her head in disgust and got up.
Anika nodded. "I don't think you have to worry about it, Chris. I think she was just as torn up by this as you were." Her eyes narrowed, then she smiled. "I think she really was." Rich stepped into the room to shoo them out, and they went quietly, to Rich's obvious surprise.
Chris managed to get through the after show stuff without killing anyone, absorbing the astonished looks he was getting from the others without comment. They were watching him again, he thought to himself, letting the frustration show in a silly face for the next girl, who giggled as she took a picture. Rich was in and out of the room the whole time, but he was there when the last girl left. "This way," he said, looking at Chris. Lance gave him a shove when he didn't move, and Rich led them to a side room.
Marissa had her back to the door and she was explaining something in German to the girl next to her; Clara and Anika stood across the room, watching her. They both got up when Rich entered the room, the rest of the guys behind him. Chris slipped up behind her and covered her eyes. "Guess who?" he asked in his highest voice.
"Jordan Knight?" she asked, and he gasped in disbelief and let his hands fall.
"Jordan Knight?" he demanded as she turned around.
"No. You're much better looking." His disbelief must have shown on his face, because she chuckled. "You don't believe me?"
"He toured with us," Chris admitted. "Even Tamara went insane over him." He couldn't believe he'd brought her into the conversation, and he shook his head. "Who's this?"
"Oh!" Marissa flushed. "This is Gabi." She turned to the girl next to her, who was staring around the room. She snapped to attention as soon as Marissa said her name. «Gabi, can I introduce...»
«Chris Kirkpatrick, I know,» she gasped. «And... how do you know them?»
Marissa smiled. «I met Joey at an club, and we sent each other email messages for a while. Then I started getting email from the others, and... can I explain it to you later? Please?»
Gabi nodded hesitantly. «Promise?»
«Of course,» Marissa said. «You know, Lance has said he can sort of understand German. He can't speak it, but you could help him with it.»
«Really?» Gabi perked right up, and made her way over to Lance, who looked startled, then wary.
"Did you just sic her on Lance?" Chris asked.
"He said he understood German a little. She's dying here, Chris. Once she figured out I knew a little about you guys, she started quizzing me on stuff!"
He laughed. "And you told her a pack of lies."
She contrived to look innocent. "Me? Would I do that?"
"Ri... Marissa, what are you going to do now?"
Her smile faded a little. "I have to go back to work tomorrow, Chris. There's just no way out of it. I'll be staying here for a while, though. What do you want me to do?"
He grinned. "Drop everything and finish the tour with me."
Her eyebrows went up in surprise. "Um... you're kidding, right?"
"Not really. I mean, I'd love it if you could. I also know that's not very realistic." He felt like he was walking on eggshells, too afraid to say something stupid and scare her off again.
Marissa leaned back, but didn't take her eyes from his. A smile started on her face, then she leaned forward again and kissed him.
It surprised him, and for a second he didn't react. Then everything else kicked in, and he pulled her closer, forgetting about everyone else in the room. She backed off after a while, smiling at him with unfocused eyes. "Stop tip toeing around me," she told him softly. "I don't think you can drown me any more - even with the way you kiss. However," she added, her thumb brushing his cheekbone, "you're welcome to try."
He grinned. "You may regret you said that," he whispered.
"Probably," she said with a rueful smile. "But I also know I'll enjoy it very much."
Chris paused in front of JC's door before he hesitantly raised his fist and knocked. Considering how fast the door opened and the resigned expression on his friend's face, Chris figured he'd been expecting this visit. "Come in."
Settled in the chair by the table, Chris regarded JC as he leaned against the wall on the bed. "What did you want?" JC finally asked when Chris didn't say anything.
"Marissa..." Chris started. "Were you going to tell me she was there?"
JC was quiet for a while. "If I was," he said carefully, "I would have told you after we left Vienna."
"Why?"
He glanced at Chris, his blue eyes dark. "She panicked when Justin looked in and told me to hurry. She told me to go away and forget I'd ever seen her. I think she didn't want to be found yet."
"Yet?" Chris questioned.
JC nodded. "She would have liked to be found again, I think. I said your name and she almost cried."
Chris leaned on the table. "Why do you think yet?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. Just a hunch. Partially because she was willing to go with you this time. I think she was just surprised." JC grinned. "Now what?"
Chris blinked, startled. "What?"
"What are you going to do?"
Chris looked away, picking at invisible lint on his pants. "I'm still getting used to the idea of having her back in my life," he admitted.
"How far in your life?"
Chris looked at him, one eyebrow lifted. "When did you become the shrink?"
"I've spent a lot of time with you," JC told him flatly.
Chris sighed. "As far as she'll let me."
"What if she won't let you at all?"
Chris smiled. "Right now, that's not a question. Later? We'll see."
"You sure it's not a question right now?"
"She promised not to disappear again."
"Good." JC nodded.
"So..." Chris paused, combing his fingers through his hair. "You wouldn't have said anything to me until we were gone?"
JC nodded. "She asked me not to."
Chris nodded, then smirked. "I'll remember that."
JC rolled his eyes and grinned. "Don't start something now, Chris. It will only start something that will get ugly."
Chris got up to go. "Doesn't it always?" he asked, then smiled. "Thanks, though, JC. I appreciate it."
"Don't break my girlfriend's friend's heart."
"Believe me, I won't do it again." The door closed behind him, and he leaned against it with a smile. "Not if I can help it." Still smiling, he wandered down the hall to his room and to call Marissa.
Go on to Next Chapter | Chance