Alex was bleary-eyed but packed and excited when he came down the stairs the next morning. She had expected him early, and he was, about 15 minutes. The drive to the airport was silent. He seemed intent on the road, driving exaggeratedly careful. She looked out her window to hide a smile. He really wanted to get home.
"First class?" she gasped as he got in line at the United counter. He nodded.
"It was all they had." He didn't add that he didn't like coach, and had gotten used to flying first class when he was 16. It would only confuse her. Besides, she'd find out his sordid past when they got home, most likely. He grinned wryly to himself. Then he thought about Zac, and the grin faded. Maybe she wouldn't.
She couldn't help it; she fell asleep as soon as they were in the air. Clarke stared unseeing out the window, hands clasped tightly together. The LA airport greeted him like an old friend, and he led her through the concourses with familiarity. Alex resolved to ask him what that was all about - as soon as she woke up again. When they finally landed in Oklahoma City, he checked at the ticket counter only to find there were no seats on any flights to Tulsa until much later that evening.
"I guess we rent a car," he said, obviously unwilling to wait. They ended up in a Grand Am, and Clarke drove, still very carefully. This time Alex didn't try to hide her smile. She fell asleep almost immediately.
When she woke, they were stopped at a rest area, and Clarke was pressed into the corner, asleep. She watched him for a moment, smiling at the two or three strands of tarnished gold hair caught in his eyelashes. He looked incredibly angelic when he slept, and she sometimes forgot it. She got out to stretch her legs, grabbed two cups of coffee, and walked back to the car. He was awake when she arrived, and accepted the coffee gratefully.
"Thank you. Did you sleep well?" he asked as she settled into her seat.
"I think I'm caught up," she smiled.
"Good."
"How long were we stopped?"
He checked his watch. "About 15 minutes. Time to go."
"Are you sure you're okay?" The look he gave her was of such torment that she knew, at last, what it had cost him to stay away from his family. "Never mind. Let's go." She held out her hand for his cup; he gave it to her, and they were back on the road.
Finally, she couldn't keep her questions to herself anymore. "Why did you leave home?" she asked.
"It was time."
She paused and looked at him, a small smile on her face. "Did you know that your voice changes when you lie?"
He blushed a deep red and looked out his window for a minute. "No, I didn't. I don't lie much. Mom taught me better."
She reached up and touched his face, brushing his hair out of the way. "What happened?"
"I backed up over my little sister."
Alexa stared at him, stunned. "Was she okay?"
"Yes. Well, she lived. I heard a couple months later that she would even walk again." His hands clenched on the wheel. "I just couldn't take Zac's accusing stares anymore. We shared a room, and I just... couldn't. We actually fought, once, when Taylor wasn't home. It got bad."
"What happened?"
He sighed. "It came down to me being careless. I forgot to look behind me when I backed up. I thought everyone was inside, I had some last minute shopping to do. Avery must have slipped out. She and Zac were best friends, and he was so furious...." He took a deep breath. "I couldn't even defend myself. He stood there and screamed at me for ten minutes. I had nothing to say. What could I say? You can only repeat 'it was an accident' so many times before you start sounding like a broken record, and everyone stops believing you. I left before Taylor got home; he was at the hospital with Avery." He shook his head. "I snuck out in the middle of the night. I don't know if Zac even heard me. I doubt it. If he had, I'm sure I would have heard about it."
"Why did you fight when Taylor wasn't home?" She barely had a grasp on his family; he never talked about them.
"Poor Tay, caught between Zac and me. He turned into a peacemaker. He didn't really have a choice. I think he spent so much time with Avie just to get away from Zac, and from me. He barely spoke to me when he was home, but at least he wasn't shooting death looks at me across the room. Avie spent Christmas in the hospital that year, so far as I know."
"When did you leave?"
"Christmas Eve."
"You left on Christmas Eve?!"
He glanced at her, his misery plain in his brown eyes. "I thought that if I wasn't around then, they'd have a better Christmas. And... I never went back. I was going to, when I left. I only took enough stuff to last me for a week. I just never had the courage to go back. I moved to Sacramento. I figured I could disappear, and there was no reason for anyone to suspect I would be there."
Alex stared at him. "You just disappeared."
"I tried. I guess I succeeded. No one found me." He didn't mention that he hadn't left his apartment for nine months when he'd first moved in, and only rarely the second nine months.
"Were you disappointed?"
"No. Relieved." He glanced around; it was beginning to get dark. "It hasn't changed much," he said softly.
"Did you expect it to?"
"Not really. Kinda hoped it would." He slowed, turning onto a street. It sloped up, slick with snow and ice.
"What about gifts?" she asked.
"I sent them weeks ago. I have yours with me." He slowed more, then stopped in front of a nice looking house, decorated with lights. A tree stood framed in the window. He turned the car off. "This is it." He got out and opened her door for her.
"Are you going to get the luggage?"
He laughed mirthlessly. "Not until I'm sure they'll let us stay," he said. "I'm not going to assume anything." His hands trembled as he shut her door, and they walked up to the porch. He stopped short of the door, his whole body trembling now. "Ask for Taylor Hanson," he said, giving her a pleading look. Alex touched his arm to reassure him, and rang the doorbell.
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