"Now I Don't Know What to Do"
Hanson, Pictures

Qui-Gon sank into the seat he'd been assigned on the liner and tried not to sigh too loudly. The mission to Dantooine hadn't been all that strenuous, but it had been time consuming and rather dull, much like most of the missions he'd been given. All had turned out well. Once he reported to the council, he intended to ask Yoda for another two weeks off. He might not get much done in two weeks, but maybe he'd get a little farther than he had last time.

He closed his eyes, braced himself, and reached down the bond....

Nothing. Just that blank wall again. He didn't even know if his Padawan was near.

With a sigh, he released his frustration into the Force, and began to work on tightening his sense of the bond. Once earlier in the week he'd thought he'd caught something that might have been pain through it, but he hadn't been able to concentrate on it. He'd been in the middle of a rather heated discussion of logging rights between the government and local loggers, and hadn't been able to even let it distract him. Still, it gave him a bit of a clue. When he'd analyzed it, later that evening, it had turned out to be a typical type of pain, as if Obi-Wan had tripped and twisted his ankle. Well, it didn't feel exactly like that, but it had been physical, and it had been his ankles or lower legs. He was sure of it.

With a deep breath, he let his muscles go loose. He hoped he was going to be able to sleep on this trip. Slowly, his breathing evened out, and he relaxed even more.

Someone touched his shoulder. "Master Jedi."

Qui-Gon started awake, surprised to find the liner had docked, and gave a mocking smile to himself in the transteel port by his seat before turning to the attendant who was waiting for him to acknowledge her. "I'm sorry," he said, and got to his feet. However, he realized he shouldn't have done it so quickly. He was stiffer than he'd realized, both from sitting too long and from the phantom ache in his side. He could only move forward very slowly until, by the time he'd reached the door, his muscles had become used to moving again.

The transport to the Temple was quick. He stepped into the large building and sighed again, relieved to be back, to be able to feel the Force in such a concentration. It wouldn't last, of course, and if the Council allowed it, he'd be gone again, but it was nice to be here. He strode across the foyer and into the hallway beyond, aiming for the lift that would take him to his quarters.

He'd barely walked in the doorway when the comm unit chimed. He waved at it, activating both audio and visual with the Force, and moved to the kitchenette. "Yes?"

There was a sigh from the other end. "It's good to hear that you're back," Mace's voice said. "The Council would like to speak with you."

Qui-Gon didn't look up as he started the teapot. "Now?"

"If it's not too much trouble."

"I'll be there shortly."

"Qui-Gon, do me a favor. I realize that you like tea, but this is ridiculous. Would you please at least pretend you care when I call you from the Council chambers?"

"I'll try," he said, and caught himself before he went on. ‘My Padawan isn't here to make my tea while I'm answering stupid comm calls.' He sighed and braced his hands on the cupboard, letting his head hang for a moment. He was really glad he was out of visual range. "I'm sorry, Mace," he said, glad that his voice didn't crack, and turned around. "I'll be up in a minute."

He waved the comm off before Mace could say anymore, and turned the teapot off as well. He hesitated, but then stepped slowly toward the door to the smaller of the two bedrooms in the suite. It slid open at his approach, and he paused in the doorway.

Nothing had changed, of course. He'd cleaned up the room a little and had put the lightsaber back together - except for the power crystal - while waiting for the Healer Theela to say he could leave. It lay now on the bedside table, the sapphire sparkling even in the dim light. He turned away before his thoughts could start down the path they had taken way too many times; speculation on how much the boy had grown, why he'd gone.... He couldn't think on that now; he had to meet the Council. He started back toward the hallway and heard Obi-Wan's door slide shut before the one to the hall opened. By the time he'd reached it, he was wrapped once again in the serenity expected of a Jedi Master.

His report was succinct. When he'd finished, he stood waiting for any comment, watching the Council members he could see. "Wish to go again, you do," Yoda said.

"Yes, Master. All I ask is two weeks."

There was silence in the room. Qui-Gon waited, refusing to let himself grow impatient. That would get him nowhere.

"You are allowed to go," Mace said after exchanging a look with Yoda. "Two weeks."

Qui-Gon bowed. "Thank you, Masters." He turned to leave.

"Master Jinn."

He turned back, slightly surprised at the interruption. "Yes?"

"Perhaps you should check the reports from the Knights near the Outer Rim," Depa Billaba said softly. "A friend of mine reported seeing someone that might have been your Padawan."

Qui-Gon bowed, refusing to let his emotions show. "Thank you," he said, and swept out.

He couldn't help it. Every time someone said they might have seen him, might have heard something, his heart rate sped up and his control almost snapped. He was so incredibly lonely. He paused, bracing himself against the wall, and tried to release the feelings into the Force. They wouldn't go. He snorted softly, remembering working with Obi-Wan on his fear just after the boy had become his Padawan two years ago. They'd been in their common room, facing each other in meditation, working on releasing the feelings into the Force. "They won't go, Master," Obi-Wan had said in some frustration.

"Then wait until they do," he'd responded with a calm that often seemed to frustrate Obi-Wan, although it hadn't that time.

Obi-Wan had given him a look he still didn't know how to read. "Perhaps you'd better start dinner, Master," he'd said, and there had been a resigned tone in his voice. "This may take a while."

The Knight's breath hitched and he closed his eyes to block out the hallway before him, trying to get back in control.

"This is an interesting place to stop for a nap."

He didn't answer for a moment. "Hello, Tahl," he said softly.

"Are you okay?"

He straightened with an effort and gave her a half smile he knew she couldn't see. When he opened his mouth, however, he found he didn't know how to answer her, so he closed it again. She smiled.

"I'll take that as a no. Come. I bet you haven't even had something to eat since you got back." She took his arm and began to walk down the hallway.

He didn't resist her, and she cast him a worried look. "You aren't okay," she said softly. "Was the mission that hard?"

"No." He sighed. "It's not the mission, Tahl."

She nodded. "I didn't think it was." Her hand patted his arm. "No luck?"

"I don't even know where to start," he said softly.

"I think we'll start with dinner," she said softly. "And then you need to sleep."

Qui-Gon started to pull away from her, but her grip on his arm tightened. "I know you're going to fight me on this," she continued as if he weren't already, "but think about it. I bet you're so tired you wouldn't know if Obi-Wan were here. And I warn you, my friend, that I will win."

Her words startled him, and he stopped struggling for a moment. "Why?"

Someone else took his other arm, and he stared, surprised, at Mace Windu. "Because she called for backup. You're so tired your shields weren't keeping everything in," he added in a softer voice as they continued to pull him down the hall. "We all knew how much Depa's news threw you off. She almost wishes she'd waited until she could have talked to you in private."

Qui-Gon gave up. Somewhere in the back of his head, he was glad he had such good friends. "Dinner, then," he said.

"And sleep," Tahl emphasized. "You don't really have a choice."

He laughed mirthlessly. "Very well," he said. "And sleep."

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