Obi-Wan knelt next to his sleep couch, searching for the answer to his own question. He was hesitant, but squared his shoulders, refusing to back down. He hadn't let fear conquer him the last time, three years ago, and it wouldn't now. Slowly, he turned his mind to the day he'd left, sinking deeper into a trance. He watched the day unfold, reviewing everything that had happened.
He discovered that the darkness he had felt that day had been present earlier than he had thought. With an effort, he shrugged off the shame that he hadn't noticed it as soon as it had slipped into the training room. His Master hadn't noticed it, either, because it had slipped in so subtly, and they'd thought themselves safe. Suddenly, he stopped, holding the current scene in his mind - he was about to be knocked back - and his brow furrowed. The darkness felt... familiar, but he couldn't place it. Slowly, he let his mind go forward, trying to concentrate on why he knew it. He noted when he finally did feel the darkness, but by then it was nearly too late. It was as if two hands placed themselves over his and directed his next two blows. He struck, and Qui-Gon blocked, but then he used the base of his lightsaber as a focus for the Force and shoved his Master just enough off balance for him to strike, a sweeping blow that scored Qui-Gon's chest before driving into his side. He remembered fighting to not make that strike, being relieved that he hadn't cut his Master in half before the second part of it.
He watched himself jerk back in horror - then he remembered and tumbled out of the trance, a cry sounding in his ears that he belatedly realized was his own voice. His door slid open as he became aware of a few more things. He'd jerked so violently out of the trance that he lay on his side on the floor, and his hands were trembling. Before he could move, Qui-Gon was beside him, a hand on his shoulder and a worried look in his eye. "Are you okay, Padawan?"
Obi-Wan could not answer. He stared sightlessly into his Master's chest, checking and double checking the memory. But there was no mistake.
"Obi-Wan?"
"No," he whispered, eyes widening in horror. "No. How...." He shook his head. "What happened to M..." It was almost a compulsion. Still, after three years and a new Master, he was not free of that compulsion. "To Toman?"
When Qui-Gon did not answer immediately, Obi-Wan looked up at him, searching out his Master's gaze. "He was banished, removed from the Order," Qui-Gon said after a long while. "There is a tracer on him, so they know where he is at all times. Is it important?"
"Yes, Master. At least, I think so." He pushed himself up, meeting Qui-Gon's eyes. "I think it was he who... he was the darkness." He wasn't making sense, and he knew it.
But there was comprehension in his Master's eyes, and the older Jedi nodded. "I will speak with the Council." He got to his feet, then helped Obi-Wan up. "Get dressed, Padawan. They will want you there."
Obi-Wan was dressed, back in his Jedi robes, and reaching for the staff when he realized what lay next to it on the table. His knees buckled, depositing him on his bed. His hand was shaking as he lifted the lightsaber, lifted the crystal, then sat dazed, staring at them. The sapphire winked at him just as it had on that planet two years - almost three year ago now. He didn't understand why it was there, why it wasn't destroyed.
The door slid open, and Qui-Gon paused in the doorway. Obi-Wan looked up. "You didn't destroy it." In spite of his attempts to keep his emotions in control, his voice trembled. He felt hope, something he hadn't dared feel even when his Master had granted the forgiveness he'd craved. Maybe... Maybe there was a chance....
The Master smiled a painful smile. "No. I used my prerogative as your Master to keep it until I understood," he said, and there was a light tremor in his voice as well. "Come, Padawan. The council is waiting. We will speak on this more after this is settled."
Still, Obi-Wan hesitated, unsure, and finally looked up. "Wear the staff until you have replaced the crystal," Qui-Gon said gently. "Come."
Standing unsteadily, Obi-Wan fell into place behind his Master, clipping the staff to his side. The weight was reassuring during the silent walk to the Council Chamber.
He kept his robe tight around him as he followed his Master through the large doors into the circular room. He often felt naked, walking into that room, but it was worse this time. He didn't know if they knew he wasn't carrying his lightsaber, but he felt like they knew it. He stopped the proper distance behind his Master, bowed exactly, and waited.
"Identified your attacker you have?" Yoda asked. Obi-Wan was glad the small Master's eyes were on Qui-Gon.
"Yes, Master," Qui-Gon said. "It was Toman."
The Force swirled with unspoken communication, and Mace fixed Obi-Wan with a piercing gaze. He froze, half afraid of what would happen next. "Are you sure of this, Padawan Kenobi?"
"Y-yes, Master," he stuttered, and flushed.
"Explain what you felt."
Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "W-when I meditated this morning," he started, "I studied the events of that day. I noticed that the dark feeling was there sooner than we'd realized." He paused. "I did not notice it then until it was too late. It wanted..." He stopped and took a deep, calming breath, letting it out and his frustrations with it. The Council waited patiently. "He wanted to kill my Master. He wanted me to kill him. And I fought him, pulling the blow that would have cut him in two. But I couldn't stop the last blow. Toman surprised me." He kept a firm grip on his thoughts, on his feelings.
"What happened after that?"
Obi-Wan closed his eyes, focusing on keeping his shields tight. "Then he was gone from the Force, and I was free. I deactivated my lightsaber, and called to Bant, she was waiting outside because we were going to meet for lunch. The Healers came, and... I left. There was no evidence that I had not tried to kill my Master, and I did not want to be cast out. I thought...." He paused again, gathering his thoughts. "I thought it would be better if I left, than to be cast out," he admitted, then hesitated. "I think... I think it might have been what he wanted," he said slowly. "I don't know if he planted the idea in my head, but I think he wanted me out of the Temple. And I went... I lost myself too well."
"Yes," Qui-Gon murmured softly, frustration in his voice. Obi-Wan had a hard time not looking at him.
"To what end?" Adi Gallia asked.
"I don't know," Obi-Wan said.
"I may," Qui-Gon said, and Mace nodded, gesturing for him to continue. "His former Master attacked Obi-Wan just before we reported here the day I took Obi-Wan as my Padawan. She said that he would destroy the Jedi order, and attempted to kill him. It was Di'ona who reprogrammed training droids to attack Obi-Wan, nearly killing him two days before that."
"Know this we do," Yoda said impatiently. "Find Toman we must, to ask him why."
"We don't even know where to start," Mace said.
Qui-Gon stiffened. "You told me you had a tracer on him," he said flatly.
"It shows that he is on Pervan," Mace told him. "We will look into it, but we have to consider that he might have gotten it out and left it there."
Qui-Gon stared at the Council Members, and Obi-Wan shifted, uncomfortable. Finally, he took a deep breath. "Masters," he said, and took a moment to be grateful that his voice didn't crack. "He seemed to be able to follow me."
"Follow you?" Ki-Adi-Mundi repeated.
"Yes. I think... I think he was trailing Master Jinn. He had found me just before I left, I think. The Force got me out of the Monastery just in time."
"Do you think he knows you are here?" Mace asked, leaning forward.
"I have not felt the darkness in the Force that I have felt other times," Obi-Wan said carefully. Mace glanced at Yoda, and the two communicated silently.
"No," Qui-Gon said suddenly, and Obi-Wan barely kept from flinching. The emotions that raged in his Master leaked a little down the bond, and none of them were ever things he'd associated with Qui-Gon Jinn.
"There may be no other way," Klo Poon rasped.
Obi-Wan looked between his Master and the Council in some confusion, not sure what was going on. He only knew that his Master didn't like it at all.
"No," Qui-gon repeated, firmer. "I will not allow this."
"It is not your decision, Master Jinn," Mace said calmly. "It is Obi-Wan's."
Obi-Wan's eyes widened. "My decision?" he repeated, feeling incredibly stupid because he didn't know what they were talking about.
Qui-Gon turned to him, a crack in his usually calm demeanor. "They wish to use you as bait."
Obi-Wan stared at him. "To lure Master Toman here?" he asked, stumbling as always over his former Master's title. It frightened him, certainly, but to see his Master so... uncontrolled was even worse. He never would have believed this was possible.
"Yes," Mace said. "Unless he has someone in the Temple...."
"He doesn't need someone in the Temple," Qui-Gon snapped. "He got in on his own just fine."
"Master Qui-Gon," Yoda said firmly in reprimand. "Understand we do, how you feel."
"With all due respect, Master Yoda," Qui-Gon responded, his voice flat, "unless my shields are leaking again, you cannot possibly know how I feel."
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