Qui-Gon had a feeling that things were going to get bad from here. Something long buried had surfaced in Obi-Wan's mind, and the Knight hoped he would be up to what happened next.
The afternoon was uneventful as they worked through lightsaber forms. But even that failed to lift Obi-Wan's spirits, and Qui-Gon didn't know how to help.
"Need more help, do you?" Yoda asked that evening at his report.
"No," Qui-Gon said, almost too sharply. "Having someone else here might make it worse. I just wanted you to know." The Council agreed.
The next morning, Qui-Gon could nearly see the tension on Obi-Wan, and mentally prepared himself for something to break. The boy seemed balanced on a knife edge, his movements sharp, edged, like a living sculpture of glass shards.
The morning lightsaber practice was easier, and then they sat outside in the shade of the large tree on the east side of the house to do the meditation exercises Obi-Wan had done with Bant. Qui-Gon expected it to be a battle.
It was not as bad as he'd expected, but it was a battle. He could feel the boy's fear and frustration growing and he stopped the exercise. "Obi-Wan," he said gently. "Calm down and we'll start again."
The look Obi-Wan shot him was full of venom, but he obediently closed his eyes. Slowly, fear and frustration drained out of him. Qui-Gon waited until the boy opened his eyes and nodded, still shaking but doing better. Qui-Gon gently reached out to Obi-Wan, noting that the spikes in the boy's mind were sharp again. Those spikes eased as he brushed them, withdrawing until their minds joined with a slight, almost familiar touch. The time passed, slowly, and next to him, Obi-Wan began trembling. Qui-Gon pulled away slightly, trying not to put pressure on Obi-Wan's mind. Oddly, the boy's trembling intensified, and finally the spikes made their reappearance. Qui-Gon withdrew.
"Perhaps," he said, "we should work on how to keep people out before continuing with these exercises."
Obi-Wan shrugged, his fingers twisting the grass. Qui-Gon waited until he looked up. "Is something wrong?" he asked.
His answer came both mentally and physically. Obi-Wan lunged at him and a sharp spike bore into his shields. Attending to the mental attack took precedence. By the time he'd ascertained there was no real threat, the boy had gotten in three good hits, two to his chest and one to his jaw. Calling on the Force, he was able to intercept the boy's next two blows, catching his wrists. He would not use the Force to freeze the boy again, or the air around him. There had been too much terror for that, their first day together. Wrenching Obi-Wan sideways, Qui-Gon threw him to the ground, then pinned him down when he continued to struggle. He was strangely pleased to note that Obi-Wan had put on weight.
Eventually, Obi-Wan stilled, and soon after, the mental attack withdrew as well. After a few moments, both to let him catch his breath and to make sure that the boy wasn't going to start struggling again, Qui-gon released him, rolled away out of reach and got to his feet.
Obi-Wan lay still just long enough for Qui-Gon to begin to worry that he'd hurt the boy. Finally, though, the student pushed himself to his feet and turned to face the Knight. Qui-Gon was astonished at the amount of despair rolling off him. Obi-Wan stared at him in silence, and Qui-Gon waited for him to speak.
"What do you want from me?" he finally asked.
Qui-Gon's heart lurched, but he made sure his voice was steady. "From you?" he queried. "Your best. I told you when we started you would be great. And...." He stopped when Obi-Wan gestured sharply, and waited. This was not, perhaps, correct behavior from a Padawan - his or not - but it did seem to be something the boy had to work through. He really wanted to have a talk with his student's former Masters.
"Are you going to tell me again that you aren't going to hurt me?" he demanded. "Because that's what they said. And then..." His arms crossed and he hugged himself. He didn't seem to feel the sunburn. Qui-Gon didn't dare move. This had to be done in Obi-Wan's time. "Then they did something that..."
"Hurt?" Qui-Gon asked softly.
"Needlessly," Obi-Wan insisted. "He... They made me...." And he launched himself at Qui-Gon again, blind with rage and fear.
This attack was less focused, more desperate, and completely physical. His shoulder slammed into Qui-Gon's unprotected stomach, and his momentum drove the Jedi Master backwards. Qui-Gon let himself fall, pulling the boy down with him. The struggle took only a while longer, but soon he had pinned Obi-Wan again. Obi-Wan froze, trembling, anticipating... something. Qui-Gon could feel it. Once he was sure the boy wouldn't attack him immediately, he released him, rolled away, and got up, waiting.
Obi-Wan did not get to his feet, but he did finally sit up. "I did not think...." he started. Qui-Gon waited, recognizing that patience was necessary. "You are cruel, Master Jinn," he finally said.
"How am I cruel?" he asked, hiding how startled the statement had made him.
"They never.... Why are you taking so long?"
"To do what?" He didn't try to hide his confusion this time.
Obi-Wan gestured aimlessly, his eyes focused on the ground. "What... What my Masters did."
"What was that?"
The boy was quiet for a long time. "They didn't wait this long," he finally said.
"For what?"
"Why don't you get mad at me?" he demanded, looking up with flashing eyes.
"For doing what?" He couldn't follow Obi-Wan's train of thought. He simply didn't have enough information. He wasn't actually sure Obi-Wan could follow his own train of thought.
"I hit you."
"And very well," Qui-Gon agreed, rubbing his jaw. "What should I do about it?"
Silence hung between them. Qui-Gon noticed Obi-Wan was rubbing his knee again. "Do you need ice on that?" he asked.
Obi-Wan flinched, then sighed tiredly. "Yes," he said, and climbed wearily to his feet. Qui-Gon turned to go in and was not too surprised when the boy's shoulder drove into his lower back, knocking him to his knees. Fury and fear raged in the Force behind him, and Obi-Wan found the strength somewhere to force the bigger man down onto his hands.
With a twist, Qui-Gon threw himself sideways, breaking Obi-Wan's hold. Qui-Gon landed hard, on his back, but before he could catch a breath the boy's fist slammed into his chest. The other hand was raised for the next blow. His face was contorted into a grim mask of rage, determination and fear. Qui-Gon grabbed at Obi-Wan's wrists, gripping tightly, and pulled him off balance. Obi-Wan tried to catch himself but crashed into the ground on his left side. He kicked at the Jedi Master, pulling at his captured wrists, trying to break free.
With some exasperation, Qui-Gon pulled the boy close, wrapped one leg around both of his student's, and pinned him down. Obi-Wan went still.
That was when the mental attack began. He'd learned well, Qui-Gon thought as the boy's focus sharpened. Misused he had been, and he'd learned from it. He wasn't strong enough to do any damage - or even to get into the Jedi's shields - and finally he gave it up.
"To do that," Qui-Gon said gently, "is to abandon and deny everything a Jedi is and stands for."
Obi-Wan stiffened, and Qui-Gon was surprised at the amount of despair rolling off the boy. It seemed to have doubled. Then he began struggle again, and Qui-Gon let him go. They got to their feet and eyed each other. After a moment, Obi-Wan dropped his eyes. "I'll take that ice now," he said softly.
Qui-Gon didn't answer until he had breath to. "Come on in."
This time, there was no attack. Obi-Wan settled down at the table, his despair as strong as before. Qui-Gon retrieved the cold pack and gave it to him. Turning back, he started the soup for lunch, and sat down across from his student. The boy didn't look at him, concentration and thoughts focused on his knee. Finally, he relaxed a little and leaned back, eyes closed.
Qui-Gon eyed him, wondering what had caused Obi-Wan to attack him like that. He was going to have a bruise or two, he thought idly, and rubbed his jaw again, and then his aching chest. He could think of nothing to say, so he closed his eyes to meditate on it.
"I'm sorry."
He almost didn't hear the apology, and opened his eyes, surprised. "For hitting you," Obi-Wan clarified. "I don't know what else to say." His voice was quiet, deferential, different than it had been.
"It is enough," Qui-Gon said, then tilted his head to one side. "You have some... topics you do not wish to discuss," he said almost hesitantly.
"Yes," Obi-Wan said. Qui-Gon could not identify the tone.
"I can only guess it is because of your former Master."
"Masters," Obi-Wan said softly. "All three of them." He seemed to withdraw, pressing his back into the chair.
Qui-Gon had to fight to keep his shock and dismay from showing. "What did they do?"
"Different things," he hedged, and Qui-Gon nodded. It was still too soon, he figured, and got up to tend to lunch and to give the boy space. They were silent while they ate, and then Obi-Wan excused himself and returned to his room.
Qui-Gon remained in the kitchen, starring sightlessly at the chair Obi-Wan had been in. Of course, the chair held no answers.
Go on to Next Chapter | Problem Child
Home | Stories | Fun Stuff | Links | Contact me