Returning to the Temple was not as much of a shock as Obi-Wan had thought it would be. Part of it was due to the fact that he was not in the room he'd been in for the last three years. His relief was a surprise. He still had nothing to decorate with, so the room was bare, but it was his, even if he was on a level with much younger initiates. He couldn't even bring himself to care.
He was surprised to discover that his morning schedule was no longer taken up with classes, or even with the work on his shields. He'd thought the schedule from... wherever he'd been would continue. Instead, he was to spend the first two hours after breakfast in the creche, and then two hours with the healers, with a half hour between them. After lunch he'd be working with Master Zichri on his lightsaber technique for two hours, and then with Master Yoda on his shields, again with a half hour break between.
Obi-Wan stared in dismay at Qui-Gon, who had informed him of the change in his schedule when the Knight had walked him to his new quarters. "With the healers?" he questioned softly, doubtfully, and glanced at the door to make sure it was closed. He didn't know how many people had seen them return, and he didn't want rumors to start because someone heard this conversation.
Qui-Gon nodded firmly. "You have faced all your fears with great courage, Obi-Wan," he said gently. "Do not stop now."
Obi-Wan hesitated, a protest on his tongue, but then he dropped his head. "Yes, sir," he said.
Qui-Gon's hand fell heavily on his shoulder, and Obi-Wan felt comforted - although it was probably for the last time, he thought despondently. "You'll do well," the Jedi Knight told him.
Obi-Wan nodded, but he didn't look up, and he could not force his voice to work. He did not want to work with the Healers. He didn't want to be anywhere near them. Just in case his Masters were right.
His first day in the creche was hectic. The creche was separated into four rooms. The first housed the new arrivals until they were able to walk steadily on their own, and most of the beds were cribs. The greatest number of Masters worked in that room, filling it with all the love the Force could hold. There were three children per Master, and that kept those that worked in there running. The second room held mostly toddlers, children who still needed help with feeding, clothing themselves, and so on. Many of them still had to be potty trained, but most of them slept on small sleep couches. Some of the sleep couches had railings on them, both to keep wayward Initiates from escaping, and to keep the more unsteady children from falling out of bed. The third room was for the children nearly ready to receive their own quarters on the initiate floors. These children helped with the toddlers, sharing the responsibility with Master Elaida, creche Master, and others who worked with him. The fourth room was a common play room, where most of the children spent much of their time, in play, study, and eating.
The Masters who worked in the nursery were glad for the help, and took turns sending Obi-Wan on errands that they simply did not have time to do themselves. Most of them were without a Padawan, and the two Padawan who worked there were as harried as their Masters. Hurrying back on one of his trips through the Temple, Obi-Wan wondered how long he would be able to keep this up. If nothing else, his mind went on as he slipped into the creche, I'll know the Temple better than anyone. Well, almost anyone. He had a suspicion that Master Yoda knew nearly every stone.
The half hour between assignments was welcome. He found a small garden in which to refresh himself for a moment, firmly not thinking of the Healer's Wing, where he was to go next. But eventually, he had to move, and he made his way toward the Healer's Wing.
It took him a full fifteen minutes to get up enough courage to just step in the main door. When he did, he looked up and up at a tall, graceful, thick-set being who smiled down at him. "Welcome, Obi-Wan Kenobi," she said, and he could tell she was a she from her voice. He didn't recognize the race, but he recognized her, from before. "It is good to see you."
He dropped his eyes. "I'm sorry I'm late," he stuttered, and was too frightened to be embarrassed about it.
"We understand, child. Come. I will show you where you can help."
The first step after her was the most difficult, but soon he'd caught up and trailed behind her. "My name is Theela, small one," she said, and stopped before a closed door. "There is an injured child in this room." She gestured at the door. "I believe I scare her, and there is no one else to help her right now. I hope that you will be able to calm her a little."
"Yes, ma'am," he said, more because he was sure she expected a response. It was all he could do not to bolt, how was he supposed to help the being behind the door? Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward, waited for the door to open, and stepped in as soon as it did.
The girl was Twi'lek, curled up on the couch in the small room. She looked at him in some fear, but then it eased, and she straightened enough to sit up and stare at him, unabashed. "You're a Padawan," she accused. He couldn't see where she'd been injured.
"Yes." His voice shook, and he cleared his throat. "I'm not even apprenticed to a healer," he admitted after a minute of silence.
"I don't like healers," she said quietly.
He moved a little closer and sat on the end of her couch. "I don't either, really," he said. "My name is Obi-Wan. What's yours?"
She was a few years younger than he was, or so he guessed. He didn't remember her from any of his classes, but that usually meant little. "Leil'ani," she said shyly.
"That's a very pretty name," he said. She blushed slightly. "Why are you here?"
She displayed her left arm carefully, showing him a deep cut down the length of it. "I fell off one of the rocks on the falls," she admitted sheepishly.
He paused, not sure what to say next. "I've done that," he said, then tilted his head slightly. "That doesn't seem like it would be hard to heal. Don't you think they could do it pretty quickly?"
She shrank away from him. "She scares me."
The laugh burst out of Obi-Wan before he could help it, and Leil'ani glared at him angrily. "It's not funny," she snapped, scowling at him.
He sobered immediately. "I'm sorry," he said contritely. "You're right, it's not funny. I laughed because I was agreeing with you. Theela is very... large." A faint memory, almost a dream, flitted through his mind, of waking up in the Healer's wing and panicking. Theela had put her hand on his head, and there was pain - and blessed darkness. He shook his head slightly to rid himself of the image.
The girl giggled suddenly. "She had to duck to get into this room," she said in a conspiratorially.
Obi-Wan smiled and leaned closer to her. "I bet she did," he said. He paused again, somewhat surprised to find that he'd relaxed. "But she can help you feel better," he added. "Will it help if I stay by you? While she's here?" A shy smile crossed his face. "If nothing else, I might be able to distract her while you got out."
Leil'ani perked a little. "Would you stay?"
"Of course." It came out so easily.
"Will you hold my hand? In case it hurts?"
Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes," he said. "Shall I get her?"
Leil'ani nodded. He got up and approached the door; it slid open to reveal the healer. "Come on in," he said, and retreated back to the sleep couch. He sat much closer to Leil'ani, and before he'd managed to settle comfortably, she had his hand in a death grip.
Theela only smiled. "This should not hurt much, child," she said gently, but even so, Leil'ani leaned closer to Obi-Wan. He didn't feel Theela do anything in the Force, but it was moving so much in this place that it was hard to tell. When she was finished, the tall being stepped back. "There," she said gently. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
Leil'ani shook her head, squeezed Obi-Wan's hand, and let him go. "Can I go back to class now?" she asked.
"Yes. Be more careful diving off the falls," Theela said. "Your instructor is waiting for you."
Leil'ani leaned closer to Obi-Wan. "Thanks," she whispered. "If you need someone to hold your hand sometime, let me know."
He smiled nervously at her, and watched her leave the room.
"Well done, small one," Theela said. "Come. There is more for you to do."
Getting up, he followed the Healer from the room.
He made his escape for lunch, still not sure why he'd been assigned the healers. Working with the Healers, or in the creche, were not within the typical initiate's circulation of duties; those mostly included helping with meals, laundry, house cleaning, mending, things like that. However, as it kept him from having to help at meals, he supposed it could not be all bad. At least, he hoped not. Arriving in the cafeteria, he sank down thankfully across from Bant, relieved to be away from the Healer's Wing. Okay, maybe he would rather help with lunch.
"Are you okay?" she asked, leaning forward so that the students around them couldn't hear. The table they'd found was full, somewhere in the middle of the cafeteria, and it made him feel... safe. He'd forgotten how much he missed the noise, both of voices and in the feeling of the Force, around him.
"Yes," he said quietly as the stress of the morning finally left him.
"What are you doing this afternoon?"
"I'm supposed to work with Master Zichri," he said. Bant nodded.
"And then?"
"With Master Yoda," he reported. "Knight Jinn has been helping me with my shields, and now Master Yoda is going to help me." He hadn't let himself consider why the Knight had left him in other's hands. It would be too depressing.
Bant nodded. "You look happier, Obi-Wan. I'm glad."
Before he could answer, a tall Foilani woman stopped behind Bant and looked down at him. The indecipherable look in her eyes made him distinctly uncomfortable. "You are Obi-Wan Kenobi," she said, deep disapproval in her tone.
"Yes, ma'am," he said, and his eyes dropped to the table top. He wanted to get out from under her gaze, so uncomfortable that it was all he could do not to squirm.
"You have returned."
"Yes, ma'am," he repeated dully, his hands clenched together under the table.
"Good." There was a longish pause, but then she swept off, along the table toward the door on the side of the room. Obi-Wan shuddered.
"Who was that?" Bant asked in a hushed whisper, and Obi-Wan was surprised to find that most of the rest of the table was as quiet as they were. The Jedi's displeasure had been made well known.
Obi-Wan shook his head. "I don't know," he said in the same tone. "But I do know I hope I never see her again."
Bant nodded emphatically.
The lesson in the work-out Saale was refreshing. Obi-Wan moved quickly through each lightsaber form the Master asked of him, but at the end, he just sighed. "You've been working with Master Jinn." It was more a statement than a question.
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said.
"Very well. Let me see exactly what he has taught you."
The spar was short. Obi-Wan hadn't expected it to be any longer, really, but Master Zichri nodded his approval. "Good. You haven't forgotten much, if anything." He smiled at Obi-Wan, who looked at him askance. He didn't like the look of that smile.
He'd been right. He was released late, drenched in sweat, and told to clean up before meeting with Master Yoda. Obi-Wan went, feeling tired but invigorated. The workout had been something he'd enjoyed, especially now that he had a decent lightsaber. After a quick wash in the ‘fresher, he was off to work on his shields. He arrived at the proscribed room only a couple of minutes late, and Yoda eyed him speculatively as he knelt before the diminutive Master.
"Late you are."
"Yes, Master. I'm sorry." He really didn't know what to think. It had been some time since he'd done any work with Yoda, aside from the rather tumultuous time a few weeks ago.
"Why?"
Obi-Wan grimaced slightly. "My training with Master Zichri went longer than he had planned, and he told me to clean up first."
Yoda nodded and led the way in to the small room. "Very well. Let us begin."
Obi-Wan struggled. Building shields had been difficult with Qui-Gon, and it hadn't gotten any easier, even if he knew he could trust Master Yoda. He would begin without the spikes the Master had told him were ineffective, but as soon as something brushed his shields, the spikes reappeared, leaving his mind open. It happened again and again, his jaw tightening with determination each time.
"Obi-Wan," Yoda said after a while. "Relax you must. Trying too hard you are."
Trying too hard? Obi-Wan stared at the small Master before him, confused.
"Peace you must find," Yoda said firmly. "Now."
Obediently, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and sank quickly into the first stages of meditation, releasing his frustration into the Force. Slowly, muscles in his back loosened, and the dull headache he hadn't even noticed vanished.
"Now," Yoda said softly, infinitely patient, "a wall envision."
By dinner, Obi-Wan was exhausted. He made his way slowly to the dining hall and sank down across from Bant again. She smiled at him but said nothing, offering only her companionship. He was glad he had such a good friend.
By the end of the week, the Masters in the nursery had run out of errands for him, and he began to work with the children. It became easier to be around the healers as well, and no longer took him so long to get in the door. For the first time since he'd been chosen by Master Sorin, everything seemed to be going right.
Until one day he forgot to tuck his Padawan braid into his tunic before reporting to the creche, as Master Elaida had warned him his first day. Within ten minutes of his arrival, a small boy, just learning to walk, pulled himself up on Obi-Wan' right arm. He was used to it, since he now spent most of his time on the floor with the children, and so paid no attention to him. The little boy reached up, grasped the thin braid, and pulled.
The reaction was automatic. Obi-Wan froze, fear and pain echoing through the Force around him, and he was unable to control it. The echo of his fear set the children crying, each of them reacting to it, but he could not move, not even to comfort the little boy who leaned on his right arm, the braid gripped in his pudgy hand. Abruptly, the pressure was gone from his arm, his braid released, and Obi-Wan was free to move. He lurched to his feet and fled.
Obi-Wan didn't know exactly where he was going, and didn't see anyone else in the hallways. He found himself in a small garden halfway across the Temple. He crashed to his knees, struggling for calm, trying to get some semblance of control. Slowly, the fear eased, and he began to breath easier. It took some time - he didn't know exactly how long - but eventually he was able to release the fear and pain into the Force.
When he'd calmed down and regained some control, he returned to the creche. He was ashamed but he wanted to make amends, if that were possible. One of the other Jedi among the playing children send him to where Master Elaida sat among a small group of them. He gestured for Obi-Wan to sit down. As soon as he did, a small Foilani girl climbed into his lap before he'd even settled himself. She looked up at him with wide purple eyes before reaching slowly up to his face. Her fingers touched his cheek, then to his complete surprise, she nestled into his chest and promptly fell asleep. His arms wrapped around her to steady her without a conscious thought.
"They recover quickly," Master Elaida said softly, indicating the children around them. "What scared you so badly?"
Obi-Wan was trapped, unable to move. Aside from the Foilani girl on his lap, a Wookie child leaned on one side, and a human girl was curled up in the small of his back. It sounded like she was contentedly sucking her thumb. He sighed. "Your friend pulled my braid." He gestured at the small boy in the Master's lap, one hand gripping his robe, and tried not to wince at how lame it sounded. He really didn't want to have to explain.
Master Elaida nodded sagely. "Master Jinn said you might have problems with that."
Obi-Wan flushed. He was definitely relieved that he didn't have to explain, but that Qui-Gon had done it for him was a little uncomfortable.
"He asked for my help, in fact," the Jedi Master went on. "Eliminating your fear will probably take some time."
"Patience," the young Jedi murmured, frustration tinging his voice.
"Yes, Obi-Wan. Patience."
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