Urkdt was late... ... ...very late.
Blast it! WHY had Master Kri insisted that Urkdt must bring the Sith-spawned goat to the crèche? The children would not know the difference!
Urkdt very gently tugged on the lead-rope attached to the large black goat's collar trying to urge the beast to move faster. Normally, the large hairy wookiee would simply pick the animal up and carry it, but right now she had her hands rather full trying to juggle the rest of her menagerie. Urkdt was off to see the crèche children for a special "zoo" day. The little initiates were too young to be trusted with an outing to the zoo on Coruscant. Their force control was too unpredictable and there were not enough Jedi in attendance at the Temple at the moment to be able to spare enough to send with the little ones on such an outing. It had therefore been determined by the Council (Yoda-the-little-green-troll) that the "zoo" must be brought to the initiates. Urkdt, the unofficial resident pet-medic at the Temple, was recruited to fulfill this task. Of course, with the party scheduled that evening, it couldn't have happened at a worse time!
I knew I should have taken this blasted gift over to the Council Chambers last night!
Desperately struggling not to drop the VERY large turtle, currently clasped to her chest, and juggling the Royal Telorian Cat's basket that was draped over her arm and the Vispian Snake's carrier on the other arm, Urkdt gently tugged on the goat's lead rope again. The grey parrot sitting on the goat's back squawked and began to curse in Huttese as the beast began to back up; away from Urkdt and her strange burdens.
"BHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"Poodoo. Chop-chop. Um-boba sel unt."
"Mr-eow?"
"Hissssssssssssssss."
The padawan could feel the strange looks being directed her way. It wasn't enough that she looked foolish, her companions made enough noise to make sure that everyone looked directly at her.
The sharp "WHACK!" of a gimmer stick against her lower leg startled the large wookiee out of her struggles with the animals.
"Problems are you having, padawan? Hmmmmmm?"
"Good morning Master Yoda."
Urkdt attempted to bow, but was overwhelmed as the turtle began to slide from her grip. Suddenly, the cat (a beautiful flame-tipped cream from the Royal Telorian cattery) began to scratch at its basket lid. Urkdt's ever-present pet Fer'rat, Rrrikdt, hissed in response and began to climb up Urkdt's long head hair as the cat began pushing up on the basket lid. The recalcitrant goat, stubbornly still and fairly silent up until this point, ambled up to Yoda and began to nose around the elderly master's face, the gray parrot on its back still muttering under its breath in Huttese. Yoda waved his gimmer stick at the goat.
"Away, get you! Padawan, control these animals you must.... What is that sound?"
Yoda pointed with his gimmer stick at the wildly gyrating basket that contained the very upset cat. Obligingly, Urkdt bent her knees and settled lower down so the diminutive Master could see into the basket. She flipped up the lid as she explained:
"The zoo-keeper sent her along. Her name is Selas Tinpor Mah-jang the third. Apparently she is very friendly and likes children."
Yoda's large round eyes suddenly grew wider as they began to fill with tears. Then, taking a deep breath, he responded to Urkdt with a very forceful: "Ah---Choooooo"
The cat, no longer completely confined, reached out a soft paw and gently patted Yoda's wrinkled green cheek.
"Ah...Chooooooo. Away with it. Like it I do not!"
And with that pronouncement, Yoda quickly turned and stumped off down the hallway on his way to the crèche. The suddenly amiable goat gave a soft "Baaaaa" and followed on his heels. Urkdt, giving a long suffering sigh flipped the cat's basket lit closed, stood, and followed along with her burdens.
*********************************************
Urkdt's entrance into the crèche was greeted by glad cries of excitement from the little initiates. As she carefully settled the large turtle on the ground in front of small blond child, she was startled by the beeping of the com unit attached to her shoulder belt. Urkdt gently dumped her two baskets on the ground amidst the rest of the children, and under the watchful care Master Darsaln, the crèche-master, left them to play together as she stepped outside the door to answer her com. Rrrikdt chattered softly in her ear as she flipped the unit on:
"Hey Urkdt, it's Dei. How's your little project coming along?"
Urkdt tried to keep her rather rumbling voice to a whisper as she replied, "Well, Yoda is here in the crèche with the initiates, but there may be a slight problem."
"Problem... ....What problem?" asked the slightly panicked voice of Dei as visions of the wookiee's usual methods of wreaking havoc slipped through her mind. The last problem had initiated a trip to the healer's "caves" for several padawans and masters.
"Oh, nothing I can't handle...I think. It seems that Master Yoda has a slight allergy to one of the animals that the zoo-master sent along. I believe I can still keep him occupied with the rest of the animals and just keep that one out of his way. Don't worry, I'll handle it. No problem."
"OK. I'll leave it to you, then. We are off to find Obi some party clothes. He says he needs some replacements." There was a definite evil grin in Dei's voice.
Urkdt, who still had trouble understanding humanoid clothing customs quirked a hairy eyebrow and made the first suggestion that came to mind, "Well, you know leather is very durable. A nice leather outfit would last Obi a long time."
Muffled laughter came from the other end of the com unit. "Uhm, ok, we'll see. I'll see you in the council chambers later. Dei out."
"I'll be there. Bye Dei."
A deep voice came over Urkdt's shoulder, "Be where, padawan? I thought you were spending all day in the crèche with the young ones."
Urkdt startled slightly. Blast it! Her master, Master Kri, was one of the very few humans who was actually able to sneak up on her very sensitive ears. Rrridkt chirruped with happiness at the presence of the tall muscular master. Master Kri often gave the slinky little furry mischief-maker and often acknowledged thief-of-anything-shiny little tidbits of food.
"Hello, Master Kri." As she bowed slightly at her master, Urkdt tried to come up with a plausible explanation for leaving the crèche earlier than planned. Finally settling for something close to the truth, she gave her version of events to her master.
"Well, some of the padawans are getting together for a, uhm, meeting and I thought I might go along to keep an eye on things."
Master Kri raised a single dark eyebrow, a move that had earned him numerous confessions from many guilty padawans. "Really," he commented thoughtfully. "I don't suppose that padawans Bant, Obi, Dei or a few others I can think of are involved, are they?"
Urkdt pasted what she hoped was a thoughtful expression on her face. "Gee, Master, I'm not really sure who all will be there." at least not everyone "They might be. Anyway, you know how it is when all the padawans start getting together. They mentioned something about the basement practice arena. You know the dark one that everyone avoids ‘cause the lights are always flickering. I thought I might wander down there later." Not a lie. It had been discussed as a meeting place.
A sudden VERY loud crash interrupted Master Kri's reply. Both padawan and master raced to open the door into the crèche. Compete chaos met their astonished eyes.
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"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, com'on Jahza, hurry and climb on," cried one small tow-headed initiate. The same one who then held out a tiny hand to help the littlest blond girl Urkdt had ever seen climb up on top of the enormous turtle. The turtle was slowly walking to the far end of the crèche, loaded down by four or five laughing, screaming, and giggling little ones on his back.
A grey flurry of feathers was in the middle of dive-bombing Her Royal Highness Selas Tinpor Mah-jang the third. One claw extended, the bird barely missed the flame-tipped tail of the very outraged cat.
"Me-YOOOOOOOOOOWL" the puffed up felid cried out as the Huttese-muttering flying menace climbed up thru the air for another attack, several tufts of red fur grasped in one talon.
The little blond, who had finally succeeded in grabbing the larger child's hand, had by now clambered up behind the little boy. She clung tenaciously to him with both arms wrapped around his sandy-brown tunic, a rather fearful look on her face at being so far above the ground.
Two other initiates, a salmon colored Mon Calamarian and a little green Twi-Lek were trying unsuccessfully to corner HRH Selas so they could whisk her to the safety of her wicker basket.
"Here, kitty, kitty" "No, don't run" "Darn that bird! Get away, You!!!" The frightened felid, not understanding why everyone was suddenly chasing her flew towards the back corner of the room as fast as her four legs could carry her.
In the back corner of the crèche, directly in the path of HRH Selas' mad-dash, the small- stature of Master Darsaln was engaged in a futile tug-of-war with the black goat. The love-struck beast, finally able to corner her new beloved, was busily showing her affection by cleaning every square inch of the dimunitive, sputtering, Master Yoda's face.
"Off! Away get this slobbering animal! Mffffffffpt!" came the exclamations of outrage from the wrinkled master. The rather short, rotund Master Darsaln, huffing with exertion, was vainly tugging on the stubborn beast's rope, "I really think that she likes you Master. She doesn't mean harm." The goat, unable to reach quite far enough to get Yoda's ear quite clean enough, suddenly took a step forward. Master Darsaln, thrown off balance by the sudden movement, landed in a flurry of Jedi robes and crashed into Master Yoda. Both masters tumbled to the floor in a tangle of material. The goat, calmly accepting a new member for its ministrations, promptly put a hoof on top of the folded material, effectively pinning both masters in place, and began to clean Master Darsaln's face also. And into this tangle ran the cat.
The slobber-ridden face of Master Yoda took on a surprised look as the furry felid landed right in the middle of his lap. His large round eyes became larger, and rounder, as they filled with tears. His nose twitched.
"Ah-ah-ah----CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The explosive force of the sneeze terrified the already upset cat and she yowled in fright as she latched onto the diminutive master's robe. Sharp claws pricked Yoda's skin as the frightened, yowling cat began to climb towards his head.
"Ah-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Padawan, go grab that red menace climbing on Master Yoda. I will deal with the other one."
At her master's calm voice, Urkdt snapped out of her astonished trance and quickly moved in to assist the two downed masters. Master Kri was directly behind her. They passed the two young ones who had originally been trying to capture the cat. Both were now doubled up hooting with laughter.
Meanwhile, the frustrated parrot, deprived of its four-footed fun, had turned its attention to the children on the turtle. "Poodoo!" he cried as he began to dive-bomb the little ones piled on the turtle. The startled scream of the little blond girl Urkdt had first noticed brought both master and padawan to a halt.
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwww-ch"
Sudden chaos broke loose on that side of the crèche as all of the children attempted to get off of the turtle at once. They very quickly ended up in a pile of tangled limbs, belts and miniature cloaks on the floor. Several children began crying. The little blond was still wailing and her tow-headed protector, who was trying unsuccessfully to untangle himself, was shouting at the top of his lungs; "I'll get it, Jahza. Don't worry, I'll get it!"
"Ah-CHOOOOOOOOOOO! Off get this beast, NOW!"
Urkdt quickly moved to the corner containing the trio of unhappy beings and the one VERY happy being. Gently, she disengaged the cat's claws from the green master and then scooped up the frightened felid into her arms. Rrrikdt chattered unhappily upon viewing the felid and promptly ran back up to the top her owner's head. Master Kri, meanwhile, picked up the large black goat and with a grunt at its weight set it carefully off to the side out of the way. The goat baaaa-d unhappily at being so rudely interrupted. Master Darsaln, who had quickly regained his feet began to hurry towards the mass of tangled children. Master Yoda, sneezing and snuffling, climbed more slowly upright, then Force-called his cane to him.
As Master Darsaln reached his young ones on the other side of the room, the parrot, who had landed on one of the book-cases next to the wall, suddenly let out an ear-splitting screech. The beautifully colored red and orange snake, unnoticed amidst all the commotion until now, had made its way over to the shelf. Tongue flicking, the reptile had slithered along the book shelf until it was quite close to the pesky parrot, and then made a grab for the bird.
Fortunately, the parrot was very quick. Escaping with only a few missing tail feathers, currently in the possession of the snake, the parrot began flying in circles around the room, yelling at the top of its very loud lungs. Jahza's young protector, still trapped in the tangle of noisy children and suddenly afraid that the bird would try again to grab his friend's pretty yellow hair, began Force-hurling objects at the upset bird. Several of the other children, upon seeing their hero defending them, joined in.
"Padawan, take that animal outside and put it back into its basket. I will go help Master Darsaln."
Urkdt nodded, "Yes, Master." Then, careful not to frighten the cat any further, she trotted quickly to the door, scooped up the basket as she passed it, and stepped outside of the crèche to put the cat back inside of its basket. THUMP! Urkdt winced as a book Force-thrown by one of the children hit her in the back. As she turned to go back into the crèche, the door suddenly slid shut with a hiss of pressure. The outside control panel began sparking. Urkdt could only assume that one of the children had hit the door's inside control panel with one of the objects being thrown around the room.
Urkdt stared at the door for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only a minute or two.
The soft "Mr-eow?" of inquiry that came from the now calm cat woke her from her surprised gape at the door. Any attempt to open the door by sheer force, even with the assistance of the Force, was pointless. The door to the crèche was rock-solid. The Jedi order took the protection of their most valuable and beloved commodity very seriously. Nothing short of a sonic bomb would get through that door and even that was not guaranteed. The chirp of her com unit caused Urkdt to give a jerk. Quickly setting down the wicker basket, she grabbed her unit and thumbed it on.
"Urkdt here."
The calm voice of her master soothed Urkdt's rather frazzled nerves. "Padawan, the door control panel has been damaged in here. Can you open it from out there?'
"No, Master. The circuit is completely fried out here."
Master Kri gave a rather prolonged sigh. "Well, the only thing to do is to contact maintenance and have them come and release us. As slow as they are, it may be at least several hours before they come." Urkdt could hear Master Yoda chastising the goat in the background. The beast, evidently on the loose again, had once again cornered the small master.
"Yes, Master, I'll go down there immediately and notify them. I'll be right back."
Master Kri's voice stopped Urkdt before she could flip off her com unit. "No, padawan, there is no point in your staying. We will be fine. The snake is back in its carrier and Master Darsaln captured that pesky foul-mouthed parrot and put it into one of the spare rooms. The crèche is self-contained so we will not want for anything. You might as well go ahead and keep an eye on the others while we enjoy each other's company in here." Urkdt thought she detected a faint bit of resignation and amusement in her master's voice. But she could not be sure as humanoid vocal nuances by themselves were still a bit difficult for her to grasp.
*********************************************
Dei's com unit beeped at the incoming message. As she flipped it open, she wondered who was calling this time?!
"Hey Dei, it's Urkdt. Master Yoda is, uhm, tied up in the crèche for the rest of the evening. The door is jammed."
Dei, visions of havoc floating through her mind, asked in a rather alarmed voice, "Is everyone OK?"
"Oh, yes, everyone is fine. Master Yoda is having a delightful time with his new friend; a large black goat named Sue." There was definitely laughter in the wookiees voice as she said that. "I left word at the maintenance office that the door was jammed. But I had to leave a message on their machine ‘cause everyone was out to dinner. I'm not really sure when they will get around to checking their message machine."
Dei choked back laughter. The maintenance workers were notorious for being slow. They likely would not even check their message machine until the next morning. "Well, I'll see you in a little bit then. Dei out."
Urkdt tucked her com unit back into its pouch on her shoulder belt. She would drop the cat off at her treehouse, pick up Obi's gift, then proceed with all due haste to the Council chambers. With luck, she might be on time, for once. Singing she walked down the hall, wicker basket swinging jauntily.
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This post by the hillariously funny, singing Wookie Flashbacca!
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