Samantha Knight, a petite girl with dark eyes and straight dark hair that fell past her shoulders, stood to the side of the stage in the middle of the auditorium. She leaned against a bar going around the stage and listened to the crowd outside demanding to be let in. Stage people put finishing touches on the stage, and as soon as they were done, the people outside would be let in. She turned and walked backstage, her stomach twisting nervously. After a nine month tour, she still had stage fright. And the people weren't even coming to see her!
Backstage, they had set up a buffet style dinner, but she could not even think about eating because of her stomach; in fact, the smell of the food nearly made her sick. She swallowed the feeling, sat down at an empty table, and contemplated calling her roommate, but she didn't know if JJ'd be home. After a minute, she looked up to find Danny Wood smiling at her from across the table. The handsome, slightly Hispanic looking young man had a strong face and a well built body. His dark eyes glittered, giving him a slightly mischievous look.
"Don't you ever eat?" he asked, the plate in front of him piled high.
"Not before a concert," she responded. "I'm too nervous to eat normally, and being in Boston makes it worse. I might actually know someone out there." She sighed. "I'm ready to go home."
Danny looked down as though to control his expression, then looked up again, a half smile on his face. "How come?"
"I haven't seen my roommate for nine months," she laughed. "The poor girl's probably lonely by now! Besides," she added, "I haven't talked to a girl in far too long. Relatives and band members just cannot understand how good looking another person of their sex is."
Danny grinned as Jordan Knight, a slim, dark haired young man, came around the table and dropped a kiss on Samantha's cheek.
"Hi. Would you mind braiding my tail?" he asked. "Jon pulls."
Samantha looked up at him. "Sure." She straddled the bench, and he sat in front of her. The tail hung nearly two feet from the base of his head, the rest of his hair cut short. She ran the comb he'd given her through the strands of hair, then braided them and tied them off with a dark string.
Twisting his lithe body, Jordan turned and hugged her. "Thanks. If I'd known you were so good, I'd have asked earlier. You're coming for dinner tomorrow night, aren't you? Mum's expecting you." He stood up, his hand on her shoulder.
"It's on my otherwise very empty calendar," she grinned.
Danny watched the exchange, trying hard not to be jealous. They were cousins, for pity's sake!
"Danny, what are you thinking?" Samantha asked, interrupting his thoughts. She'd turned back to face him. "Your face is a study!"
"Oh, nothing," he covered quickly, smiling. "I'm just nervous. Peter ought to know better than to make the last concert in Boston. We're too worn out."
"You're not tired, are you?" she teased, then stood and stretched, cat like. "I'm gonna get dressed."
He stood up with her. "Can I join you?" he teased.
Samantha laughed. She liked Danny; he was comfortable to be around, not a relative, and very good looking. "Sorry," she said regretfully and with a slight pout, "it's a 'girl's only' dressing room, though it is very lonely that way."
Danny didn't know what to make of the messages he got. No one seemed to see his confusion, which was more luck than anything else. He tried to put his thoughts back in order as they left the "cafeteria".
As soon as they had left, Joe McIntyre burst into laughter, his blue eyes shining under brown hair. He'd seen the attraction from the beginning, and didn't want to let anyone know, since Danny hadn't said anything. Donnie Wahlburg, the only other person there, looked at him strangely, then shook his blonde head and finished his dinner. Joe wasn't normally given to such strange behavior. Joe continued to chuckle as he ate.
The backstage area was busy as they all prepared. Jonathan, Jordan's older brother, had already finished getting ready when the others joined him. His hazel eyes sparkled as he watched the rest of them from where he stood against the wall. Jordan went through every hat in his wardrobe, his hands shaking slightly. Tonight needed to be as good as they could make it. He finally decided on a fedora, and settled it firmly over his dark brown hair. Donnie threw his clothes on, and moved to stand by the door, listening to the screams from the crowd outside.
"Wow," he said with a grin. "I think they'll like us."
Joe laughed. "That's a good guess."
"What? You mean we're performing for people who like us?" Danny asked, turning to Donnie with a confused look. "I didn't think we were allowed."
"Word," Donnie grinned. "Sometimes I think so, too."
Jonathan just chuckled. He enjoyed this time of anticipation. Even after so long, just before the concert gave him butterflies. Sam never ate. For each person it was different. Donnie didn't stop talking.
"What are you going to do tomorrow?" Donnie asked, interrupting his thoughts.
"Sleep in!" Jordan, Joe and Danny chorused. Jonathan laughed again.
"I don't know," he said, with a shrug. "Hadn't really thought about it." After a minute, he sauntered down to the green room, and greeted Samantha with a hug. "Hi. How are you doing?"
"Fine. You?" She looked him over and grinned. "You look sharp."
"Thanks. So do you... Isn't that Jordan's shirt?" he asked suddenly.
She nodded. "I got Joe to swipe it for me. Jordan isn't wearing it."
Jonathan nodded. "He wasn't, no.... How did you like your first tour?"
"Now that it's over?" she asked. He nodded. "I'm glad it's over, I'm glad I went, and I would like to go again, I think. But with a companion that's a girl. It gets lonely, sometimes."
He raised an eyebrow. "With five great-looking guys?" he asked.
She looked at him. "I can't very well discuss how fine you all are with you," she told him archly. He laughed. The concert went well, everyone performing their best, then they packed up and went home. Jordan and Jon both said good bye to Samantha, dropping her off at her apartment, then headed home.
Life settled back to something that resembled normal. Jordan spent some time with some friends of his, Theresa Hannon and her brother Chris. He noticed both seemed to be acting strangely around him. Theresa would start to say something every time Chris stepped from the room, then her brother would return and she would go silent again. No matter what he tried, he couldn't get either of them to say anything about it. He finally quit trying because it frustrated him so much. Jon hung out with a few of his friends, sometimes seeing Jordan and some of the others. Danny spent a lot of time with Samantha, though he never saw the roommate she had mentioned at dinner that night.
They weren't idle by any stretch of the imagination, though. They had a new album to record, and the choreography to make up and learn. They noticed vaguely that Maurice Star, the writer for the group, had problems with the bass player, and Jon even mentioned once, to Donnie, that the man needed to go.
They had been home about two months when a hospital asked them to do a benefit show. It consisted of a visit to the patients at the children's hospital, then a concert, of which all the proceeds would go to the hospital. The group thought it would be a great idea, though doing anything new would be impossible because of the problems with the bass player. Then, two weeks before the show, Jordan got a call at the club where they rehearsed. Grateful for the break, he went down the hall to the phone as the others sank down on the floor.
Jordan hung up the phone and leaned against the wall to gather his thoughts and get himself under control. Theresa? dead? from sleeping pills? He'd just seen her a few days ago. His mother hadn't known what had brought that on, either. She's said that her mother hadn't been very coherent, but wanted Jordan to know. Why was that?
With an effort, he pushed himself away from the wall and walked slowly back to where the others waited. He pushed the door open slowly, feeling old, and could not look up at the others. He'd thought he had control, but just seeing his friends brought the tears that hadn't even threatened during the phone conversation. He stopped just inside the door, fighting to get control of himself.
Jonathan saw Jordan pause, and knew something was wrong. He'd left with plenty of energy, and looked so depleted that he worried something had happened to the family. Misgivings building in him, he walked over to his brother.
"What's wrong?" he asked softly. Jordan looked up at him.
"They found Theresa this morning," he said softly. "She'd OD'd on sleeping pills." His voice caught in his throat. Jonathan just looked at his brother, and then gave him a hug.
"I'll see if Maurice will let us go home." He walked over to the black man sitting against the wall and explained the situation.
"Is Jordan okay?"
"I think he'll need some time," Jonathan said. "She was a good friend of his."
"All right. Let me know if he won't be coming in tomorrow."
Jonathan smiled slightly. "Thanks." He nodded at Jordan, grabbed his jacket, and they left quietly. Jordan looked much older than he was.
They took some time off a couple of days later for her funeral. Jonathan noticed the looks the family kept shooting Jordan, and was therefore prepared when her mother walked over to them, an angry tilt to her head. "What are you doing here?" she demanded.
Jordan looked at her in surprise. "Theresa was my friend," he said softly. "Was it invitation only? I'm sorry, if it was. I didn't know."
The woman stepped closer, put her finger on his chest, and pushed. He flinched. "How dare you come here at this time. Did you come to gloat at our pain?"
Hurt clouded Jordan's eyes. "No! I ... She was my friend. I just wanted to..."
The finger pushed him back a step. "I don't want you here. She wouldn't want you here," the woman hissed angrily. "Get out of my house."
Jonathan took her hand and removed it from Jordan's chest. "Would she want you to treat her friend like that?" he asked evenly. He could see her husband coming over, looking just as angry as she, so he dropped her hand, and turned to Jordan. In doing so, he totally missed the surprised look on her face. "Let's go." Jordan nodded, and they turned towards the door. Chris held it open, his face a mask. Jordan started to say something to him, but Jonathan touched his shoulder. "Later," he said softly. Jordan nodded. As the door closed behind them, Jordan rubbed at his chest.
"What was that all about?" he asked, more out of habit than for any other reason. He seemed preoccupied, and Jonathan knew better than to try and answer him. He had no answers anyway. It perplexed him as much as it did Jordan. He finally just put it out of his head.
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