Obi-Wan opened his eyes and took a deep breath. He hadn't realized how much pain had been in the back of his mind until it was gone. He and Bant had been working steadily through the week on the exercises Qui-Gon had given them, each one harder than the last. The latest had taken them a day and a half to finally complete, but they'd managed.
What had disturbed him - and he was sure Qui-Gon had noticed their silence at dinner - was Bant's suggestion that they bring the Knight into their connection. It had taken him by surprise, but even more surprising was how comfortable he was after the initial shock had worn off. That he was so comfortable with the thought of working with Qui-Gon had truly frightened him, so he'd retired early to meditate on it.
Meditation was helping a little, but it wasn't the answer he wanted. He had no reason not to follow Bant's suggestion. Everything he'd observed led only to the conclusion that Qui-Gon was nothing like his former Masters. At least, it was taking him longer to turn into the kind of people his Masters had been. Perhaps it was an unfavorable comparison, but it was the only one he had.
He took a second deep breath, and let it out in a sigh. Tomorrow was another day. He climbed into bed and slept immediately.
When he woke, he went to find Bant. She was sitting on the edge of the white rug, smiling with closed eyes into the rising sun. Obi-Wan settled next to her and closed his eyes to bask in the warmth.
"You are right," he said after a long silence. "It is time."
She didn't answer with words, simply reaching to squeeze his hand gently.
They became aware of Qui-Gon not long after that, and turned to look at him. "Breakfast is ready," he said. "Come when you are."
Obi-Wan glanced at Bant; she smiled and they got to their feet to follow the Knight.
"What's the plan for today?" Qui-Gon asked when they'd finished. Well, when everyone but Obi-Wan had finished. He still ate more than everyone else. He was too startled by the question to be embarrassed.
"What?" he asked.
"I thought you'd like a free day today," Qui-Gon explained. "Bant must return to the temple tomorrow. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you sooner," he added gently. "I found out last night, and you had already gone to bed."
Obi-Wan's mind spun, but one look at Bant and he knew what she wanted. He took a deep breath. "We had thought to start the Force exercises again, from the beginning, but with you." His voice cracked.
Qui-Gon looked at him, then at Bant, and then back to him. "Are you sure?"
"No," Obi-Wan said honestly. "But Bant had a good point last night, and now would be better, before I..." He trailed off.
Qui-Gon nodded. "Very well. We will work this morning, and the afternoon will be yours."
Obi-Wan's mind was oddly calm as they cleaned up, which was strange. He'd expected his thoughts to be gibbering in fear. But if he'd felt any fear, he'd let it go before recognizing it. That wasn't likely - he didn't even know if that were possible - so it was possible the fear simply hadn't set in yet.
They settled on the grass outside, facing each other. Obi-Wan was surprised to find out he was shaking. "You must be calm," Bant said softly, and he slowly relaxed. Ever so gently her mind touched his, reminding him of a butterfly. Then, just as gently but with greater strength, he felt Qui-Gon join the bond. He shied away but the connection held, and he tried to calm the fear that welled up in him. He struggled to let it go, and it was working. He began to breathe easier.
"Why don't you trust me?!" Master Denk's voice howled in his mind and Obi-Wan threw himself backwards, scooting across the grass away from Bant and the Jedi.
When the panic passed, he lay flat on his back, one arm thrown up to ward off the expected blow. Slowly, that arm dropped to rest on the grass beside him, and he waited for his breathing to slow down.
"Obi-Wan?" Bant asked, and he sat up.
She and Qui-Gon watched him from their original positions. "Are you okay?" Qui-Gon asked.
Feeling almost silly, Obi-Wan nodded.
"Who was that?" Bant asked.
Obi-Wan swallowed in a dry throat. "That was Master Denk," he said. Bant stared at him in shock and surprise, and her anger flowed around them.
"He yelled..." She quieted as Qui-Gon lay a hand on her shoulder. Obi-Wan could see her fighting to calm herself, and finally she relaxed.
"Did he yell at you like that often?" Qui-Gon asked gently once she had.
Define often, Obi-Wan thought. "Not... really," he offered hesitantly. Qui-Gon nodded.
"Do you want to continue?"
The question was neutral. Obi-Wan was almost used to not knowing how Qui-Gon wanted him to respond. "Yes," he said, but it was a minute before he could make himself move.
Joining the circle again, Obi-Wan found the calm he needed, and waited. Bant's touch was there, butterfly soft, then Qui-Gon joined them. It took longer this time for the fear to overwhelm him, and Qui-Gon broke contact before it got too bad. Obi-Wan was surprised to find that he was out of breath.
"You're doing well," Qui-Gon told him. "Do you wish to continue?"
Obi-Wan only nodded as his breathing slowed, and with it, his heart rate. He composed his mind, found that calm again, and waited. This time, the connection remained for the requisite time, if barely.
"Excellent," Qui-Gon said.
Obi-Wan fell backward onto the grass in a rather exaggerated move, closing his eyes against the light of the sun. He felt wrung out, exhausted and elated at the same time. Things were going great.
"Continue, or do you two want to escape for the rest of the morning?"
Bant looked at him. "Obi-Wan?"
"Escape," Obi-Wan said without thinking. Almost immediately, a memory of Master Sorin's disapproval and the resulting punishment flashed through his mind, and he was suddenly nervous. He sat up, pulling his knees into his chest. Such a posture had kept him from getting really hurt that time. "If it's okay?"
Qui-Gon got to his feet, towering over them, and stepped back before Obi-Wan could cringe. "I would not have suggested it if it had not been okay," he said, and Obi-Wan could almost believe that of him. So far, the Knight had not said anything he did not mean. "Come back for lunch. We'll have it out here."
Bant looked curiously after him as he went into the house, and then turned to Obi-Wan. "Let's go swimming. Race you," she said, halfway to her feet already. Gratefully Obi-Wan abandoned his thoughts and raced after her.
They spent the day at the lake, with a break for lunch, and returned at dinner time, exhausted and hungry. Well, he was exhausted. Bant wasn't.
"You're sunburned," Qui-Gon told him as he sat down at dinner. Obi-Wan nodded. He'd caught sight of his reflection in the window on the way in and could understand why Bant had snickered all the way back to the cabin. His face and exposed upper body were a bright red that rivaled the flowers in the Meditation Gardens. His tunic was uncomfortable, rubbing in places against the burned skin.
"I'll hate it in the morning," he said, "but it feels okay right now."
Qui-Gon chuckled. "If more of you looks like your face, you won't be able to move tomorrow."
Obi-Wan thought about it and then nodded. "Yes."
"I have some cream that will help you with that."
After dinner, Bant went to pack, and Qui-Gon gave Obi-Wan the tube of cream. He spread it where he could reach, and then decided to see if Bant would help him with his back. "Here." Qui-Gon took the tube from his hands and gestured for Obi-Wan to kneel in front of the couch. He did, surprised when he felt the Jedi's large hands spreading the cream on his back. The cream soothed the burn nicely, and he sighed in relief when Qui-Gon had finished.
"Feel better?" the Master asked, chuckling slightly.
"Yes. Thank you."
"You'll probably want to keep out of the sun for the rest of the week, and take it a little easier with lightsaber practice."
Moving stiffly, Obi-Wan pulled his under tunic back on. "Yes, sir," he said, almost cheerfully. He couldn't really understand where the mood came from, but he was glad it was there.
He couldn't sleep. It wasn't just the sunburn, either. He'd lain down and closed his eyes, only to feel something ominous looming over him. He'd opened his eyes again, but could see nothing. Yet in the Force, he could feel something or someone near. It happened over and over again, knocking him from his meditation when he tried that. As soon as he could see the outline of the trees outside his window, he left his room to curl up on the rug and watch the sunrise, ignoring the pain of the sun on his burned face.
Bant joined him as the sight got really spectacular. "Miss this I will," she said softly.
"Miss you I will," he replied. "Thank you."
"Welcome you are," she said. "Come back soon."
"If I can."
The silence lasted until Qui-Gon emerged from his room, and even then, all they spoke was an exchange of good mornings. The peace Obi-Wan had felt was gone, suddenly and unexpectedly, and he did not recover it by the time Qui-Gon called them for breakfast.
Bant left shortly thereafter, and Obi-Wan couldn't help feeling that she took all his peace with her. He turned to look at Qui-Gon, who looked back at him.
"How did you sleep?"
Obi-Wan shrugged, wincing as his burned skin protested the movement. "Not so well."
"From your sunburn?"
Obi-Wan hesitated, then shook his head. "Bad dreams," he said softly.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No."
He turned to go back inside, and for some reason, knowing Qui-Gon followed him made his skin crawl.
The house felt empty, and a loneliness Obi-Wan had forgotten settled around him again. He stopped near the couch and turned to face the Jedi Knight.
Qui-Gon paused, watching him, and Obi-Wan dropped his gaze. "I did not sleep so well, either," he said after a moment. "Would you mind resting until noon?"
Obi-Wan shook his head and turned silently to go to his room. He was grateful that the dark feeling didn't return as he fell asleep.
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