Qui-Gon gently lay Obi-Wan on his bed and straightened slowly. Obi-Wan's words from much earlier - "They must have hated me" - haunted him. He'd gone over the transcripts and recordings again and again, searching for any evidence of fear, hate, anything that would indicate why these three men had tried so hard to destroy Obi-Wan. There was nothing. Each of them had delivered their condemnation of the boy in even, regretful tones. The Council members behind the Master/Padawan pair had not reacted to any anger or anything, so he could only guess those emotions had not been there.
Of course, he had to admit, finding something the Council hadn't noticed was unlikely at best.
It occurred to him just how proud he'd been of Obi-Wan all day. The boy had hesitated only a couple of times before meeting the challenge he'd been given head on. He smiled and shook his head, slowly. It still ached from the pain that had hit them both. He knew Masters who would have handled that worse than this Initiate, and he wondered what would happen to Obi-Wan. The thought crossed his mind that maybe he could take the boy.... He shook his head, harder this time, and the pain drove the thought from his mind.
He started for the kitchen, where he'd left his datapad of notes, but paused in his own doorway long enough to realize he needed more sleep, too. Especially if he were considering taking another apprentice.
When he woke the next morning and checked on his student, Obi-Wan hadn't moved. A quick probe with the Force showed that he was deeply asleep. It was no cause for alarm. With a smile, the Knight went in to collect the information he'd gathered.
There was a lot of it, now, especially after the experiences yesterday. He still had to talk to Obi-Wan and see if they could figure out what had made him collapse like that. The picture he was building was not a pretty one. He gathered everything up and returned it to his room, then went back to the common area. It made him feel much better that Yoda knew almost all of his findings about Obi-Wan. The diminutive Master had listened closely for the hour Obi-Wan had slept when he'd visited... only two days ago. It felt like much longer.
It was midmorning before Obi-Wan emerged from his bedroom, blinking in the sunlight that came in through the big picture window. Qui-Gon looked at him as he sank down on the rug next to him. "How are you feeling?"
"My head hurts a little, but I'll be okay."
Qui-Gon nearly frowned at the boy's automatic dismissal of his state of health. "What happened?" he asked instead. He still wasn't sure how the boy would react to a frown.
Obi-Wan hesitated but didn't look at him. He sat perfectly still in meditation pose, eyes closed. "I'm not sure," he admitted finally. "I was going to meditate on it, but I... slept in."
There was almost fear in his words. Not as much as there had been when they'd first began working, but it was still there. Qui-Gon wished it had never been, and then dismissed the wish. The past is gone, he repeated firmly to himself. You can do nothing about it. The future, on the other hand, he could do plenty with, and getting rid of the fear would be enough. "Of course you did," Qui-Gon said in a matter of fact tone. Obi-Wan seemed to flinch but didn't look at him. "You needed the sleep. I slept in as well." He glanced at Obi-Wan, who hadn't moved. "But don't try anything until after breakfast. Or lunch, as the case may be." He got up and pulled Obi-Wan to his feet. "Come on."
They boy was starving. Considering he'd collapsed before they'd had dinner the night before, Qui-Gon wasn't too surprised. The Knight was quite hungry himself, and they demolished lunch quickly.
They took the afternoon easy, holding an abbreviated saber practice and then meditating in the quiet of the front yard. The day was peaceful, a necessary break after the events of the day before. Qui-Gon noticed the boy's occasional glances but didn't comment on them. He didn't know what he was looking for, but was determined that Obi-Wan find no condemnation.
The next morning after breakfast, Qui-Gon decided he would find out first what had happened to Obi-Wan that had made him collapse. He invited Obi-Wan to join him in the common room for that purpose. Then, he thought, they would begin building shields on the boy to keep out anyone who thought they could invade his mind.
Before he could ask, Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "I'm still not sure what happened yesterday," he said softly. "I think..." He paused. "When the bond went, there was a feeling of... disappointment, somehow, that wasn't mine." His head tilted slightly to the side as if considering what to say next. "There was a loud snap, like the others when one of the bombs went off," he continued, "but this one was deafening, and the pain in my head was just too much, I guess." He glanced up at Qui-Gon, who watched him with a rapt expression. His head ducked down again. "I... my head feels better. That's not what I mean," he stuttered. His hands gestured wildly for the first time, and Qui-Gon had to suppress a smile. "I mean... the empty spaces, where I couldn't go before, they aren't there anymore. There might be more of them, that I haven't found yet," he admitted almost immediately.
Qui-Gon nodded. "We will assume there are more, for now, and simply be prepared," he said. "Thank you for explaining to me what happened." He paused a moment, turning to look out the window. "Would you like to work on your shielding?" he asked.
"Yes, sir. Please," Obi-Wan added.
They started the morning working on the shields to keep people out, but that became a secondary goal when Qui-Gon found out how weak the boy's shielding was. Instead, they worked on getting his basic shielding correct. The afternoon was spent on lightsaber practice. And so the days continued, comforting in their sameness. The only change came when Obi-Wan's basic shields were set. That became time for them to work together on mental exercises, as Obi-Wan and Bant had done. The schedule was comforting to Obi-Wan, too, Qui-Gon could tell. Not too surprising, the speed with which the boy learned increased. His confidence increased as well, and there was definite improvement in his lightsaber skills.
"Are you ready to go back to the Temple?" Qui-Gon asked one night at dinner.
Obi-Wan looked up, startled. "Back?" he asked, and his voice cracked. He flushed and dropped his eyes. Qui-Gon smothered a smile.
"Yes. The Council thinks you're ready to return."
The boy didn't answer for a moment, then he nodded. "I think I'm ready, too." Then he looked up. "Do you think I am?"
Before he answered, Qui-Gon watched him, testing the Force around him. The few shields had helped keep the boy's feelings locked up so they weren't overwhelming, but he could still tell, to some extent, what his student was feeling. What he felt was something like someone holding his breath in hope and fear. It almost made him smile; that was a new one. "I think so, yes." His shields weren't as strong as they should have been, though; the habits drummed into him by his Masters were hard to break. Qui-Gon had done what he could, but his strength was in diplomacy and lightsaber. Hopefully someone else would be able to help strengthen them when they returned to the Temple. He struggled not to let the anger at what had been done show on his face.
"Am I to go back to the student housing?"
"I don't know," Qui-Gon told him, regaining his equilibrium. "Probably, until someone chooses you again."
"And if they don't?" There was a little fear in the question, but nothing out of the ordinary; it was a common fear in the initiate dorms, after all.
"Then steps will be taken," Qui-Gon told him gently. "But the Council will be watching. Something very wrong happened with you, and they will be careful." It didn't seem to be too comforting, but Obi-Wan did not have any more questions.
"Ready to return are you?" Yoda asked when he called that night.
"Yes, Master. More importantly, I believe Obi-Wan is ready to return. He has gone as far as he can out here. The rest of the fears are there."
"There is something wrong if he is afraid of the Temple," Mace said quietly. "What can we do to help?"
Qui-Gon took a deep breath. "I understand he is finished with his studies. I believe that working in the creche and with the healers will be good for him. He will want to continue working with his lightsaber. I am worried about his shields," he admitted. "He obviously wants to do them right but he can't seem to get rid of the habits instilled by his Masters. I think that perhaps sending him through with one of the beginning classes, he could learn it all again." He'd thought it out as well as he could, and really could only make suggestions.
"Leave it up to Master Zichri for the training on his lightsaber," Mace said.
"Work with him I will," Yoda said firmly. "To assess the necessity of again beginning."
Qui-Gon nodded, absurdly pleased. When he'd signed off, he sank down into the chair by his bed. Now that Obi-Wan was well on his way to regaining the skills he had lost, he'd find out what had made his Masters treat him so badly.
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